Advice for when he goes silent

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Advice for when he goes silent
12
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:03pm
It has happens with out warning. I'm out of my affair, but I see your pain. Its my AP. Or former. He went silent 2 months ago. Never told me he dropped me. For 2 weeks didn't know whaty was going on. All was fine. I like to offer some advice. I've been through the anger, rage , depression. Now its why. Don't chase, or call, move on. I sent him in 2 months one hand written letter, one card, e emails. One telling him to go to he!! If he had enough respect to tell me from the day he dropped me he wanted to, I wouldve let him, and never looked back. This is beyond anything that is painful. I've read men that do this do come back. He's hurt me so bad, I don't think I could take him back. I jhave anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of the night. I cryu myself to sleep. I started dating again. Last night he spent the night. I rolled and my side silently crying for my former AP. Sick isn't it. My new guy wants to bring me all over, take me to the ocean on Friday. I'm trying to be happy, I'm having such a hard time. I'm trying to let go. For me its been 2 months. You need time to grieve. Its like mourning a death. Hugs to you.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 8:10pm
Moonunit, it's probably too soon to try to start another relationship. You're still grieving this loss, and you won't be able to bond with someone new until you're really over him. Yes, go out with people, have fun, but don't put pressure on yourself to bond with someone else. It's not sick if you were crying over your ex AP, even if there was someone else in your bed. It's NORMAL to need time to get over him. It IS a death - the death of the relationship, the death of whatever hopes you had for it. Be kind to yourself. Don't put demands on yourself. Give yourself time.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 8:37pm
I gave him 3 years of my life. I loved this man more then life itself. I have no idea what happened or why. What did I do. He just went mia. He couldn't give me the respect of saying anything. Nothing was wrong that I knew. I supported him, he knew my deepest secrets, I trusted him to never hurt me. You are so right, the guy I jave been with. Its not fair to him. My heart still belongs else where's, hoping some day maybne he will come back. Also accepting this. Its been 2 months and I'm still broken.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 8:41pm
Two months is NOT long enough sweetie. You need more time to grieve and heal. I'm so sorry you're going through this awful pain. I can see it in your post. (((Hugs)))

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 8:54pm

Oh Moon ....I have no idea what to say to you but I am sending you {{{{Hugs}}}}.


We all know this could be us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:08pm
Thanks for letting me post. In all my years I've never had a man ever do this. Its hard to handle.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:17pm

You can post here whenever you like Moon :-) and of course it's hard to handle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:20pm
it will be okay..your new guy actually sounds very nice...maybe you can occupy some, not all the time you spend with ap, but some with the new guy..and the other part of your time you would normally spend with ap...spend it to yourself...liking you again.....((HUGS))

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:40pm

I don't know why APs decide to go silent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:47pm
That's nice of you to post your story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:56pm
I don't regret my 3 years. I'm just devastated as to how he chose to end it. Its being a coward. He can so easily dismiss 3 years like nothing. Then maybe I should be happy, because he's showing his tue colors. If he has met someone else, and it doesn't work. If he comes back, he's broken all trust.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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