Advice for when he goes silent

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Advice for when he goes silent
12
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:03pm
It has happens with out warning. I'm out of my affair, but I see your pain. Its my AP. Or former. He went silent 2 months ago. Never told me he dropped me. For 2 weeks didn't know whaty was going on. All was fine. I like to offer some advice. I've been through the anger, rage , depression. Now its why. Don't chase, or call, move on. I sent him in 2 months one hand written letter, one card, e emails. One telling him to go to he!! If he had enough respect to tell me from the day he dropped me he wanted to, I wouldve let him, and never looked back. This is beyond anything that is painful. I've read men that do this do come back. He's hurt me so bad, I don't think I could take him back. I jhave anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of the night. I cryu myself to sleep. I started dating again. Last night he spent the night. I rolled and my side silently crying for my former AP. Sick isn't it. My new guy wants to bring me all over, take me to the ocean on Friday. I'm trying to be happy, I'm having such a hard time. I'm trying to let go. For me its been 2 months. You need time to grieve. Its like mourning a death. Hugs to you.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 1:25pm

Hi moon.


welcome to the board and so sorry to hear that your AP did this. As it has already been mentioned there has a number of posters on the board lately experiencing the same thing. I am one of them, and it sucks.


I understand the pain and hurt you are going through and all the why has he done this etc. Only he knows that answer and as difficult as it is you may never get that answer from him. I have actually heard from AP today but gonna start a new post about it.


All I can say is give yourself time to grieve the loss, keep busy and do things for yourself, look after yourself physically and emotionally and don't jump into another relationship until you feel that you have healed from the last one. If you jump into another relationship when you havn't got over the last one you are bringing a whole lot of emotional issues into a new relationship.


take care of yourself and keep posting or take a look at EAS there is some good stuff in the healing library.


ali x


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 6:32pm

i feel 4 u. i do, i do. i hate it when the AP goes silent. it can never mean any good, in my experience. it has taken me over 8 months to finally feel like i have gotten over option #1, and i still want to cry b/c i miss him sooooo much. our chemistry was perfect, we were perfect frenemies, we had sooo much in common - it was unbelievable. but the otherside of the coin is, i am truly glad that i am not his life partner. he had so many issues, and made a baby with his wife whilst playing with me --and don't i really deserve a guy with a higher level of values/morals, etc...? i am hoping so.


ending any 'relationship' is mourning a huge loss; it is a death.

when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal

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