affair for the 1st time

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
affair for the 1st time
2
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 11:32pm
Need advice:

Over 40 married for 20plus years. marriage dead expect kids and money issues.have not slept together in over year. Been talking w/old bf for a while. Finally met. Sex was amazing.he is married w/ no desire to leave wife and kids. I know this is not a good idea, but I just want to feel. He lives out of town. Never done anything like this. why does somthing this bad feel so good. Help!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:55am
I know exactly how you feel. I too would not ever have an affair before I knew my marriage was absolutely over. I lived with my now ex for quite a few years with out love . stayed for the kids and because I thought I could never make it on my own. I was dead inside! Then I woke up and knew that my life was probably more than half over and I wanted to feel loved and special. The world opened up and I saw that there were people who excepted me for me. I got treated better by friends than by my husband and so I ventured off into the world of passion. I was alive! I could feel! Along with those wonderful feelings of being loved comes all the other emotional feelings as well. But being alive and feeling is deffinately better than living like a zombie. just wanted you to know I understand. When people fall out of love it is time to move on in life. You can be so alone while actually living together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 6:45am
How true. I feel so alone.. kids all almost grown. H is not bad person. I think he still loves me,, but I don't love him in a relationship way. MM makes me feel alive although he also has a life and commintments. Lives out of town hard to see each other. I feel guilty about what I did to his W . but can't stop planning next event with MM.

Thanks for the note