Affair with SM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Affair with SM
3
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 8:47pm
I started an affair a couple of months ago with a single man the same age as me (45). I made it clear at the outset that I had no intention of leaving my husband and two months into this have not changed my mind. I am able to see him about every couple of weeks but I spend a lot of time thinking about him. I got into this because I was feeling totally trapped in the life that I have and was desperately in need of a diverson. Now even though I am not in love with A, the thought of ending the relationship is very depressing to me because I don't want to go back to feeling so trapped again. Needless to say there are issues in my marriage but none of them are divorce quality, everything is just so predictable at this point (16 years). I guess I need to find out why I feel so trapped and why I feel so strongly in need of this diversion. Anyone else out there in a similar situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: barkingmad
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 3:00pm

hi barkingmad and welcome to the board.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: barkingmad
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 3:48pm
Thanks for your reply. You are right, I don't really want to be in the A. I have been in counseling for many years and have talked about many of my own issues as well as issues in my marriage. Right now I am trying to figure out who I am and what I want about everything, not just my marriage. If I decide that I really want to give the M a shot then I have to end the A, and find a more productive outlet for my boredom. Right now I feel so overwhelmed by all this that the A seems the quickest and easiest way to escape.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: barkingmad
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 4:16pm

oh i agree with you mad -- when overwhelmed, jettison the least of your problem issues -- the A.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board