AFFAIRS AND NEW MARRIAGES
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AFFAIRS AND NEW MARRIAGES
| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 10:42am |
Both of my affairs have started within the first six months of my marriages. My first marriage ended within the first year. Two years later I married the OM. But six months into my new marriage I started another A which has been going on for two years now.
Are new marriages more susceptible to As???? I would think just the opposite. You would think after the same routine for 20 years it would be then that you would seek out an affair...
Does it perhaps have something to do with the initial "freak" about being committed to someone FOREVER that makes you want to be rebellious?
Just some thoughts...
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com

Well got out of that one...wish i could take it all back. Well....that opened the door for me.
I had a friend that i had very honest and open communtication with. Told him everything about first A. We hung out one night and fooled around a bit. Then, he blew me off....actually felt quilty come to find out later. HE had a gf...and well our cultural differences got in the way....he just felt guilty. So i was done wtih him.
Got married and things were cool. Then....as you may have read from my same sex affairs message....i started looking for a girl. Thought this would be my solution. I was craving an affair. The attention, the secrets, the hiding....the conversation you have when you are getting to know someone. The butterflies. I wanted it.
Well, i stumbled on mm online while looking for a mw. So, i have been with mm...for 7 months now. Its actaully a perfect union. We are in the exact same situation and want the exact same thing. Then....i found myself wanting to have an A against my mm. Finally I had to come to my senses and stop. I have the perfect arrangement and i don't need anymore.
SO this is where i am at. But i wonder....will i go the rest of my life needing an A?
and....the 2nd guy...he is still my friend...emailed me one day and said how some chick had blew him off and now he realizes how he had done that to me and how i must have felt. SOo, told him about my new A....and he is very jealous. Now its HIM that is emailing me and asking me where am i at and why don't I email him. HUH! He lost out. Now, its almost like i don't even have time for his friendship. Funny how things can turn around so easily.
if you invest a short amount of time in a situation, and if it's not "perfect," one is more willing to find a solution that makes the situation bearable.
interesting thread,
gurl
I didn't even think about having an A early on (the thought was actually horrifying and disgusting to me back then -- I was one of those judgmental people who thought all OW were tramps and As were only about sex).
By the time I knew the A was a possibility -- I couldn't WAIT to get my hands on him!!!:)
Interesting thread...
Charlotte
My first A I was married to a man who couldnt fulfill my needs, emotional or spiritual, even if he did his best. I was seeking to have a void filled. The A Im in now, Im involved in just because it's something I do for ME!!! God filled me with an unlimited supply of love and Im spreading it! LOL Im not looking for a void to be filled - Im just looking for the icing I guess!
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Best wishes,
Virgogirl