Affairs & Children - Friday Question
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Affairs & Children - Friday Question
| Fri, 05-14-2004 - 9:45am |
Yes...it took me until Friday morning to come up with a question, so here goes it....
| Fri, 05-14-2004 - 9:45am |
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My kids know. (At least to a point.) I'm not proud of having an affair, but they know because we came so close to actually making this permanent.
The good thing is that they can hear what I'm saying when I tell them that affairs aren't a wonderful idea.
The bad thing is that I have to try to explain that while you can control your actions, you can't always choose whom you love. And then I have to try to show them how to handle the consequences of my own actions.
Or is that a good thing, too?
My mother had an affair when I was younger. She never admitted it, although my Dad told me last year. I guess I knew, but I didn't want to know. I wish we'd been able to talk about it, though. It might have made some of this easier for me.
Cazrida
I probably would tell my child, It's kind of hard to say at this point. But, I know I wouldn't want to lie to her either. I think it would depend on certain circumstances.
However I wanted to add, if she is in such a situation herself in the future(which I pray not, she can tell me and I will still be her friend. I will not judge her. Then I might revist the idea of telling her about my no good A, so that she can see an A can be very disastrous at times.
Edited 5/14/2004 10:07 am ET ET by go_fish
Seriously, it would depend on WHY the topic came up in the first place. Would I be helping them to make a life decision??? Is there pain, torment, confusion from their own affair or from one their loved one is having?? Are they tempted to engage in one? Or are they simply curious??? In the first examples, I might be inclined to come clean. In the last, no, I wouldn't. But I would also like to think that I had told their dad at this point, because I'd hate for him to have heard it from them. If he were to search deep within himself, he'd know already, but he doesn't give any indication of knowing I was unfaithful.
Lucky
I have been very honest with my daughter when ever she askes me questions, she wishes that my MM and I could be together because she likes him and she knows he makes me happy.
My MM and I have been together 3 1/2 years and going strong!!!!
I ended up married to my MM -
At that point it would have to come out -I WOULD WANT IT OUT !!!
-I feel that at that point I would have to tell them because either they
will over-hear something about the past and put 2 and 2 together and be
hurt by it or I would slip up somewhere and be stuttering to explain, so
I would definately have to tell them the whole story
from the very beginning
hopefully they would see how happy me and MM are and accept it
- you can't hide years of memories and
good times and not have fabulous stories to tell about the wonderful way he
lights up my life and how I could not deny my love for him -
My MM aslo has children so depending upon the circustances of us finally
having a life together I am sure it would have to be "out" for people to know
what has been going on so long but just taken us all this time to
take action
And his children would have to know as well -
I would want them to know so they know just how important this man is to me !!!
Yes I have thought of this question many a day !!
Kikki
As for my parents..... they were divorced two time and married three times to each other!!!. I don't believe they had A. they just got divorced to do what they wanted!
Maybe that is why i am a screw ball!
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