Afraid - Really Afraid

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Afraid - Really Afraid
7
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 4:12pm

OMG – I’m really afraid of being alone with H. He has never been physically or verbally abusive to me or the kids but that could change.


Background. M 17 yrs w/DD & DS to ex-marine. He’s 6’3” 255 lbs and works in security job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 4:18pm
I think you need to find a way to get the xAP to talk to you in confidence. Put a note on his desk, send him an email, call him on his line at work, anything. Tell him for various reasons, you now suspect that it was your husband that hurt him. Tell him that you want to know the truth, and that you want him to press charges against him. It's one thing to get upset and angry. It's another to physically assault someone. He could have killed him. He deserves to be arrested and charged and sent to jail.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 4:39pm

Well, I think you need to find out the truth. If your AP is married too he might be reluctant to do anything that would bring your A to light, however if your H did this to him he should not get away with it, you are correct.

Maybe try an email...and be very direct.
~Shadowz




Edited 4/20/2009 4:39 pm ET by cl-intheshadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 4:46pm

It's one thing to say it, quite another to do something. I still love me H. I don't want him in jail. He's a wonderful father and has always been kind to me. It's just that i can't go through life not knowing if he actually did something like that. I know AP would be the best source but he doesn't seem willing or able to say anything. I will take your advise though, and try to contact AP through some other means. I couldn't stand it if I was the one who brought so much pain to AP. I love the man, but i love H also. I see no easy way out.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 8:42pm

Well I took your advise. Put a letter in his mail on his desk (after secretary had already sorted so no problem someone else would see) Wasn't specific enough for someone else to know what i was talking about but enough so AP would. Basically asked if he knew WHO did it and What he wanted to do (about us and the incident). Was looking from my desk when he read mail. When he got to mine his head snapped over to look at me. It's the first time he looked at me like that in 2 months. He held up his thumb and finger like he was going to call so I am now actually sick to my stomach waiting on what he might or might not say. BUT I HAVE TO KNOW. Get back when I find out anything


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 2:52pm

Well I found out. It was my H who attacked AP. AP confirmed it Friday. He is not going to press any charges. He is afraid if he does, H will tell W about A and also he is terrified of what H might do to him. H Told AP he has photographic proof of A and also phone records and text messages. Since he works for

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:50pm

I can't imagine what type of support can be provided here.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 5:00pm
WC that