after 3 years, but can it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
after 3 years, but can it work.
5
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 9:45am

my X-AP wants to give us a trail period together sometime in the next 2 months before he moves 14 hours away to see if we can make a real relationship work.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 2:08pm

Dear Moon,


As you know, there are never any guarantees in relationships, and nothing is ever for certain, not in any relationship - real life of A.


This is what need to keep in mind at this time.

Sunshine

.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 5:00pm
he is moving 14 hours away by march or so. he was served divorce papers 3 months ago, and him and his wife are following through with the divorce, and if i know he's serious, i will follow through with a divorce. his wife is starting her new job in january so she will be leaving in december. he wants me to move in with him to see if we can make a go at it. yes he still wants me to terminate the preg, i understand his reasoning.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 6:53pm

I really hope he's not trying to wave real relationship with him under your nose as to manipulate you into terminating pregnancy. What is it really to try out? You've been together for 3 years already. 2 more months not going to change much - and if you'll decide to terminate, you'll be going through so many emotions - and if in the end it won't work out with him, then you may end up thinking you lost it all - you husband, your lover and your baby.

Leave your husband - this part is over. If you want to keep the baby, then this is your decision and you have to go from there. Your AP/xAP decision to move away won't end the relationship - if relationship really has a chance. What will definitely kill it, that moving in together so quickly after such a turmoil that you both are going through now. You both have to deal with ending your primary relationships before you can "try" and see what do you have for each other.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted,

GbG

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 7:34pm
i was very surprised when he said to me last night in an email that he has been thinking, and he said we can truly be together in a month or 2. i asked how, and he said by my moving in with him in his home.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 9:30pm
Unfortunately it is not up to her alone. The state has a say too. IMAO she should abort and then wait to see if this is viable. The legal system inplace now does not allow a woman to make a final decision on her own. It is another fall out from Pres. Johnson's Great Society.
xve
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