After 4 years, we slip up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
After 4 years, we slip up...
13
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 3:50pm
It has been so long since I have been on the board. During the beginning of my A I stopped by this board a lot. There were just so many emotions that I didn’t know how to deal with. The board and the wonderful people were a God send. I actually met two wonderful people on this board that I am still friends with, one friend for over 4 years and another about a year!

So anyway, a little about me. I am M and have been in an A with a MM for 4 years. We have been very consistent over the years with a couple of bumps along the road, but that was in the most early stages. We cherish our friendship and I would say that for the most part, I have zero complaints with MM. We both actually love our spouses and have no desire to leave our marriages. He has children and I do not. We just truly have an amazing chemistry that we stopped denying and continue to enjoy.

So my purpose for posting today. We had a slip up a couple of weeks ago, and a close friend of ours has come across something that is VERY incriminating. Now I cannot post the nature of this incident as this is entirely too public of a forum for such details, who knows who could be reading this. But we are both pretty freaked out. Now this friend confronted MM, but has no CLUE I could be the other party involved. So we are trying to keep it that way. I really don’t know how to handle it and for the first time I am worried about being exposed.

MM and I are freakishly careful. We NEVER send incriminating e-mails, work only. Nor do we ever send text messages or VM’s that are not on the up and up. We only talk during business hours or when there is a legitimate reason for a call such as friends getting together which will include our spouses.

I know that you folks really can’t give advise because you don’t know the situation, but I guess I just need a little support. I worry about this friend telling his W because they too are friends. This friend knows that MM and his wife used to have a lot of problems in their marriage, but now they are doing well. I hate that he has to take the brunt of this. But there is really nothing I can do. I know it sounds terrible, but the reality is, that we are both happy in our marriages. We know what we are, and we keep it in perspective. We embrace the nature of our relationship, we are dear friends with an amazing sexual chemistry.

Thanks for letting me babble… I needed it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 10:33am

same situation. very calm, very comforting. home life is stressful at the moment, unrelated to the A.

but stories like yours always bring to mind the risk. hope it turns out ok but i am heeding the warning.

Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 1:42pm

Well I met with our friend. She invited me out for drinks to "catch up". She never called me out, but she did tell me about the situation with MM. I of course acted shocked that he would be in the type of situation. And I told her that I would do some snooping to see if his side of the story pans out. I didn't know what else to do. But I for sure is heck didn't want to incriminate myself. I am really wondering if she does suspect me and wanted to see my reaction. She totally wants to get together again soon. It's just strange to me that she is all of a sudden wanting to spend a lot of time with me.

I am not worried she will tell MM's W. I flat out asked her if she would and she said she never wants to be in that type of situation. Too much responsibility. So that made me feel better. So I guess we shall see if anything else comes of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 5:27pm

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