AHHHHHH!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
AHHHHHH!!!!!!
12
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:05pm

Thats all I want to do right now is scream! AP came over this morning ... yes we break the cardinal A rule and visit one another at each others homes ... I have never been in his bedroom and he has never been in mine ... those rooms are off limits ... Anyway ...

Everything was great I felt relaxed and comfortable ... We were intimate ... and there are times when we are intimate that it can be very emotionally overwhelming .. today was one of those times ... and today he also didn't need to run out the door we actually had a little time to lay together ... about 5 minutes before he is ready to leave he says "Are you really going to be able to stop this someday?"

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:10pm

oh my...ouch, I can feel the sting from here...Of all the times to bring that topic up, it definately isn't then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:17pm

I think I would've had to throw something at him :smileywink:

Why do men not understand how hard it is to just be friends when so much has passed between a couple?

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:33pm

MEN they bring things up at the worse times! I know you don't see it now but be glad he shared those feelings with you ( I know it hurts). You know where his head is at and if something goes down that you don't want at least you won't be surprised. He's going through the guilt and looks like its eating him up inside. I know how he feels but I definitely would not have addressed it at that point in time. I know its not what you want to hear from him and you definitely don't want him to feel that way but just know as time goes on it will only get more complicated.

When is enough enough-you'll know when you reach your max.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 12:38pm

Yes, I can feel the sting from here too.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 3:02pm

He keeps saying he's sorry for saying anything that he wishes he had a "do over" ... I told him it doesn't matter that even if he hadn't said anything we would have both been laying there thinking different things ... he said he doesn't feel like 'hanging himself' because of what happens between us it's when he thinks about what he has at home and the that he has to go live

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 3:22pm

Lexi had that audio file for the scream.. that could come in handy..

I am sorry to say this, but he does have to man up and deal with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 3:52pm
Wow, mrm...are you sure we're not with the same man! Everything he has thought, said, or done describes my AP also. So, I feel your pain and your frustration tremendously. My AP has in the past told me also that we were still in the A relationship because he would feel bad for me...for hurting me if he were to end that part of it. He says that he is very weak when it comes to me, but if we were "both" on the same page we could do it. He knows I feel as if I can't be just friends and that it would be too painful for me...I have told him so in the past. It does always come back to the same place as we have several times. I would definitely tell him not to apologize for telling you how he feels. It's actually a move in the positive direction. My AP told me that he used to just bottle it up and hope it goes away, however that's how the last "ending" occured. He has actually opened up to me more about his guilt and tried explaining it to me. He told me that he didn't have anybody else to talk to about it. So in one aspect it's a great thing, but not so easy to hear. Your post has got me thinking...I want to ask my AP what he thinks and feels after we make love..hmm. It seems as if we muttle through these rough times, but at some point enough has to be enough.
Btw, oops...I didn't know the A cardinal rule!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 4:16pm

Nevereasy: I'm not familiar with this post coital "come to jesus" feeling ... but it does always seem to be after that he has these moments ... yet it's been almost a year and a half!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 4:46pm
google "Post Ejaculatory Guilt Syndrome"..

but don't believe everything you read online.. :-)

grain or spoon of salt is surely called for..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 6:23pm

(Swoop! Dropping in out of stealth mode)

Pages