Ali X

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Ali X
9
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 4:50pm
How are things going?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 6:06pm

Hi Jane,


I've been in a crappy mood all week have been reading the board and replied to a few posts but not really felt like posting a message. Still no word from AP! I've still not had the guts to delete him off facebook but have resisted the urge to send him anymore messages.


Funny thing I looked on his profile today and one of his best friends had posted

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 7:38pm

Hey Ali and Jane

Jane - thanks for asking about me, it's nice to know people care. See the rest of my message for how things are going.

Ali -Just wanted to check in with you. I'm feeling exactly the same as you, like total sh*t. I still haven't heard anything from AP (well xAP I guess) since Sunday, despite my messages asking him what was up and begging him to just break it off instead of stringing me along. So yes, his silence speaks volumes and I guess I have my answer.

I know what you mean about not being able to stop thinking about him. It's ridiculous, even when I am with people I drift and all thoughts go back to him. Yesterday was really hard and I kept sneaking away to cry. Luckily, I had friends visiting and I think that really helped me push through and put one foot in front of the other. They have left though and honestly, I'm worried about tomorrow because mornings are often very hard and depressing for me and I will be alone all day.

Do you find that he is the last thing you think about before you fall asleep and the first thing you think about when you wake up? I find that when I wake up in the morning, before I am really even having conscious thoughts, my stomach gets all twisted and I feel nervous and then it hits me and I remember why I feel like this.

I am completely with you on being shocked at how meaningless we seem to have been to them. I'm still reeling from all of this. And like you, I am still pathetically holding on to a sliver of hope that he will contact me. But each day that passes it seems more and more unlikely and even if he did, would I want to go there again?

I just can't believe how this all turned out. I've been over to EAS and checked it out, but I still feel like I am not fully committed to ending it, even though I've deleted his number and him from facebook. So I'm not really sure where I belong because I find it's depressing coming here and reading about people's As, which, even if difficult, at least they're still going on.

I'm so sorry that we are both in this position - I know you don't deserve it anymore than I do.

Thinking of you Ali! Know that some of us, definitely me, totally are sharing your pain and know exactly how you feel (well not exactly but you know what I mean).

Hugs.




Edited 7/14/2010 7:48 pm ET by lucyford99
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 9:03pm

Also Ali, I wanted to say, since we are in such heartbreakingly similar situations, feel free to email me if you're having a rough day and want to vent.

I have my profile set up to you can email me.

Hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 10:18pm

I'm glad to hear that you are hanging in there, Ali.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 7:00am

Hi guys


Lucy and Ali I feel for you and like Jane, really hope your APs get off their selfish bums and have the balls to end it properly if thats what they want.


I have to relate something to you though that really surprised me. My Ap has broken it off twice (we have been seeing each other 15mths). In Nov he felt too guilty and he met me, held my hand, broke it off respectfully. Was a complete surprise to me, I cried, he cried. He called the next day and said it was a mistake could we try again.


The next time in Feb- I was getting

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 7:04am
I'm glad you and Ali posted, Lucy. I've been worried about you and wondering how it was going. (((Hugs))) to both of you.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 12:34pm

Hi Lucy,


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 12:45pm

Hi jane,


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 12:56pm

Hi igs,


thanks for your insight into your AP. interesting that this seems to be a common part of A's, one AP pulling back full of guilt.


Maybe that is the case for mine and Lucy's AP's as well. I know that although I am a SW I have struggled with feelings of guilt as well.


I do believe my AP is in a crappy place and has been for a while, even before our A started,