To all the men here...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2009
To all the men here...
18
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 6:20am

I've noticed there are a few of you here, and would love to find out from you how it feels to be the man in the affair. Especially the married ones.


We seem to spend a lot of time bagging the men in the affairs who never contact us, dump us, use us etc etc etc. But if you are a married man in an affair.... what's your side of the story??


Do you miss you affair partners every day, like us women do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 12:31pm
you are welcome. for me for the past week and a half it's been a little tough on the heart. a situation out of our control, but it's been tough. right now i really miss him. i go to see a therapist, and it least i can talk about it and it does help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 8:38am

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 8:57am
last night i went to see my therapist and i can talk to her about my affair, she doesn't pass judgment she just listens. it has helped me a lot in dealing with my emotions. i have no intention of living a life with my AP, and neither does he, we supplement each other, and make each other happy. i don't want to get into to much on here because i know the sarcasm and judgments from some people on here, so i don't say anything any more. last week i almost destroyed my affair because of emotions, had i not talked to my therapist and another person whom i trust, i would've made a mistake that would have hurt me for a long time to come. i really believe in therapy, but find the right one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 12:34pm

"we supplement each other, and make each other happy"

I think that is so special - and such a perfect and simple way to describe what you both have -

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 2:26pm
thank you, i appreciate that from a man pov. it doesn't mean that i don't miss him, because god do i, and greatly. i'm just realistic about what are epectations are. i'll send him simple hi emails when i haven't heard from him in a while, he'll do the same. when his laptop crapped, he kept me up to date about fixing it. then monday he emailed me and told me he fixed it. today i'm feeling bad and really missing him, i have am email in draft, short and sweet that i will most likely send tonight just saying hi, and wanting to see how you are. very generic. sometimes he will respond and sometimes he wont. out of every 10 emails he'll respond to about 7 of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 2:37pm
there is something that i did find out about my husbands parents about a month ago, both of them met from an affair. his dad left his first wife for his mom now, and his mom is 8 years older then his dad, where as his dads first wife was 10 years younger.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 3:26pm
ya know what's nice, he's working hard to keep in touch with me. like just now he emailed me. i'm going to call him in a couple of minutes. a year ago he didn't work as hard. it's a nice feeling for some one to want to talk to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 9:06pm
we spent 2 hours together this afternoon, it was nice. he's former athlete, i've been asking to see his videos of some of his events. we watched them this afternoon. his achievements being an athlete, it's amazing.

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