Allow me to introduce myself...
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Allow me to introduce myself...
| Fri, 01-16-2009 - 11:04am |
Hello to everyone. Not sure if I am in the right place, and if I get b*tch slapped for what I'm about to post, well, my apologies in advance.
From lurking about here, I think that this is a place for people who are married and having affairs, and also for people who are single and having affairs with married people. I am one who is single, and seeing a married man.
Let me tell you a little about it....One night, after a really really REALLY long day at work, I stopped at a bar for a drink. This is very unusual for me, but it was one of those day's that is so bad, at some point, it becomes funny. So, I'm minding my own business, sipping my martini, and in walks this man. Wow. And for some reason, he comes and sits next to me. Later, he will tell me that the martini sparked his interest-you have to understand, this bar is a college hangout, most of the kids are chugging beer. Where was I? Oh, so Mr Wow sits next to me, and after a few minutes of sideways glances, we strike up a conversation. And I have NEVER ever in my life gone into a bar to pick up a man, or to be picked up. But I knew after talking to him for thirty seconds I wanted to take him home. Or be taken home. It wouldn't have surprised me to see actual sparks of electricity shooting from my body to his, and vice versa. Turns out he is in town on business, and his hotel is right down the street, and me, being the kind person that I am, insist on driving him back, instead of letting him take a cab. Well, you know where this is going....but I didn't sleep with him that first night! I waited. Until the next night. We had dinner, and a couple drinks, and we chatted....and I think in the back of my mind, I knew that there was more to this than meets the eye, and I said something about him having a wife back home, blah blah blah....but I went back to his hotel room, and oh my goodness....there just aren't words. Even now, thinking about it, I just want to bite him!
So, the next morning, I shoot him a text that says, thank you, I had fun. He shoots one back, we do a little flirting. And then, that afternoon, probably right about the time he is headed home, he sends me a text that says "I will see you soon.....and yes, I'm married." I mean, I guess I kinda knew it, but I didn't KNOW it. You know?
So, I'm babbling, and I apologize if you ladies (and gents) just think that I am a pathetic home-wrecker, but.....I think I'm going to see him again. That's just wrong, isn't it? I know, on so many levels, that it is....but I'm going to do it. I am going to have an affair with a man.
Holy S**t.
So, if I need to come in here and talk about this, can I join the group? Because it's not like I can call up my (married) best friend and tell her all about it. I can't tell ANYONE about this, ever. Except nameless, faceless strangers.
Thank you for reading, please please please don't judge me too harshly.
From lurking about here, I think that this is a place for people who are married and having affairs, and also for people who are single and having affairs with married people. I am one who is single, and seeing a married man.
Let me tell you a little about it....One night, after a really really REALLY long day at work, I stopped at a bar for a drink. This is very unusual for me, but it was one of those day's that is so bad, at some point, it becomes funny. So, I'm minding my own business, sipping my martini, and in walks this man. Wow. And for some reason, he comes and sits next to me. Later, he will tell me that the martini sparked his interest-you have to understand, this bar is a college hangout, most of the kids are chugging beer. Where was I? Oh, so Mr Wow sits next to me, and after a few minutes of sideways glances, we strike up a conversation. And I have NEVER ever in my life gone into a bar to pick up a man, or to be picked up. But I knew after talking to him for thirty seconds I wanted to take him home. Or be taken home. It wouldn't have surprised me to see actual sparks of electricity shooting from my body to his, and vice versa. Turns out he is in town on business, and his hotel is right down the street, and me, being the kind person that I am, insist on driving him back, instead of letting him take a cab. Well, you know where this is going....but I didn't sleep with him that first night! I waited. Until the next night. We had dinner, and a couple drinks, and we chatted....and I think in the back of my mind, I knew that there was more to this than meets the eye, and I said something about him having a wife back home, blah blah blah....but I went back to his hotel room, and oh my goodness....there just aren't words. Even now, thinking about it, I just want to bite him!
So, the next morning, I shoot him a text that says, thank you, I had fun. He shoots one back, we do a little flirting. And then, that afternoon, probably right about the time he is headed home, he sends me a text that says "I will see you soon.....and yes, I'm married." I mean, I guess I kinda knew it, but I didn't KNOW it. You know?
So, I'm babbling, and I apologize if you ladies (and gents) just think that I am a pathetic home-wrecker, but.....I think I'm going to see him again. That's just wrong, isn't it? I know, on so many levels, that it is....but I'm going to do it. I am going to have an affair with a man.
Holy S**t.
So, if I need to come in here and talk about this, can I join the group? Because it's not like I can call up my (married) best friend and tell her all about it. I can't tell ANYONE about this, ever. Except nameless, faceless strangers.
Thank you for reading, please please please don't judge me too harshly.

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Judge you harshly? You've got to be kidding! Go read my post ("Same story, different day") if you want to see someone who should be judged harshly (but wasn't!)
I haven't been here long, but I've been in an A for awhile. This is a great place with amazingly supportive people. You won't get criticized here.
Welcome!
Keep in mind one thing.... from what you've posted, two things seem likely to me: 1) you are in a position where you might actually fall for this guy. Fall in love with him. So then, you will be on the A "roller coaster" which usually, but not always, does not end well. Be prepared for that. And 2) Given that this man travels, and given the way you described him (his approach, his communications, etc.) it does not strike me that this is the first time (or the last) that he has ever done this. So go into it with that in mind, if you go into it at all... and be careful. Not just with your heart, but in terms of STD's and other such things.
i want to welcome you to the board!! and YES you are in the right place.
Hi attagirl09 !!
And I am sure that he has done this before, which is why I will be bringing the condoms. 'Nuf said.
But thank you all so much for welcoming me, and I look forward to some fun and interesting conversations! And sure, I know it won't always be this good....but right now, I can't wipe the smile off my face!
Oh bar, it is SO nice having the male POV on here, and I'm really glad that you're happy w/ your AP. BUT I have to say........that was waaaayyyy TMI! Since all of us are in affairs, or at least have been in an A before we know how AWESOME the sex can be, and how thrilling it can be when you're w/ your AP, so Sweetie you don't have to give us a play by plays, KWIM? I hope that I haven't hurt your feelings, or upset you, but those where the standards of TMI when I first came to this AWESOME board, and I think they still apply.
Again, I hope that you're not upset by what I've said, because that was not my intention when I wrote this.
Justice
Hey, I'm really glad that you found this board early in the game, because the people on here are going to be vital to your mental health at one time or another. The extreme feelings that come from being in an A can drive you absolutely MAD! For me, it was such a HUGE relief to me to learn that most of the women on here felt very insecure in their As. That they too were always wondering what an AP meant when he said this or that, or why he did what he did. Just constantly over analyzing every little thing that AP does. I thought that I was turning into a foot loop. I just couldn't understand where all this insecurity was coming from. Just knowing that I wasn't the only one has made it SO MUCH EASIER for me! I really thought that I was loosing it.
As far as your new A is concerned there are a few words of warning that I think that everybody gets when they first come here. You have probably read about it before, but just in case you haven't I'm going to throw it out there for ya, and feel free to take what you want, and leave the rest.
Having said all that I just wanted you to know that A LOT of people come on here, and say that they initially started their A for a FWB type situation, only to loose control, and fall in love. Once that happens things become EXTREMELY difficult. You find yourself loving someone that is committed to someone else. You can't help but to begin having feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and sadness when things aren't just right. It's very unsettling when you loose that control, and begin feeling those horribly intense negative feelings.
Another thing that you should know is that As are addictive. You will get "high" when you see AP, you will go through "withdraws" when you miss him, and you will crash and burn when things between the two of you don't always go according to plan. You will become addicted to the attention and the sex, so prepare yourself.
I too, am S w/ a MM, and I have been M w/ the same MM, and it's so much more difficult to be S w/ a MM. You have so much more time to share then he will, and you may grow to resent the fact that he can't see you more, especially in LDR. Just like one of the other posters said, continue on w/ your life, and try not to let AP become your focus. It's difficult to do, but it can be done.
Ok, I'm going to end my gloom and doom sermon. I just wanted to give you a little heads up on what could happen after you begin this A in earnest. I guess all that I can say now is welcome to A land, and boy do we have a rollercoaster for you. Good luck, and best wishes.
Justice
Thanks Kimmie!!
Hi crime_fighter!
Bar I am seconding Justice here.
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