Am I alone? ?? for serial cheaters....
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Am I alone? ?? for serial cheaters....
| Thu, 09-25-2008 - 7:20pm |
Sorry to use the word "cheater", I didn't know what else to call myself.
| Thu, 09-25-2008 - 7:20pm |
Sorry to use the word "cheater", I didn't know what else to call myself.
It sounds that, even though you describe your H as a good man, he isn't the right one for you. With his emotional issues and your illness, you two should be in MC if you want it to work and if I were you, I'd try to find one who specialises in sexual issues as you both have them. There are so many issues you both need to deal with. It seems to me that you may have chosen your H because of his sexual issues, feeling that they resonated with your own, unfortunately, if that was the case, it's just mixing up a recipe for more disaster, which you are now finding yourself in.
From your post, it doesn't really sound like you know what you really want and are looking for attention or affection from who ever is going to give it to you at the time. Please don't beat yourself up. There is obviously an issue here that your years in therapy didn't discover or adequately deal with, for whatever reason. Now that you are on meds and have been diagnosed, maybe it's time for you to go to C again. Maybe you didn't have the right person before, who knows? I would ask you to sit down and really deeply consider what it is you've been hiding from yourself that causes you to behave in this way. I really think you should seek therapy again to help you find your answers.
Pisces
Hi and welcome!
Hi Girl...
My suggestion, if you're not already, is to get some therapy. You say that you have a "moderate" libido, so I doubt that something like sexual addiction is what's going on. My guess is that it's more about self-esteem with you. It always feel good in the beginning of a relationship. It's kind of a high to know someone digs you. Perhaps that is what you're seeking.
It's funny...you see a LOT of serial cheaters, as you called yourself, who also seem to have a need to be married. I don't really get it. Despite the fact that I had an A when I was married, I still believe in being faithful. I would never do it again.
Thank you all for the advice and encouragement.
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Hi..
I've no doubt there is a link between your bi-polar and your struggle with fidelity. I'm no doctor but I've read a little bit round it as I had an ex-b/f who was bi-polar. Promiscuity is one of the "symptoms" of bi-polar - it's nothing to do with libido because you aren't doing it for the joy of sex (if you see what I mean). It's just risk-taking, slef-destructive behaviour. It could just as easily be extreme sports. You're not a slut, you just need to re-wire your thinking.
From other things you've said it seems your H isn't really giving you what you're looking for sexually even if he has been supportive in other ways. He's reinforcing the idea that sex isn't about love and that's not good for you. He's also making it seem as if it's ok to cheat on him.
Someone else said you need a new therapist and maybe you do?
I'm not really sure what else to say other than you're obviously quite self-aware and that's a good start
D xx