Am I a bad person? Are we all bad people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Am I a bad person? Are we all bad people?
31
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 7:29pm

I wonder that a lot.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 9:48pm
No, not bad people..just lost.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 11:10pm
I agree, not bad people. People have affairs for many reasons and contrary to belief it is not just cake eating. We are people who allowed ourselves to step into a situation where we under estimated the impact it has on our lives. Some would say this is due to poor life coping skills. You are correct, anyone who has never crossed the line will not, could not understand. Most of us never dreamt we would ever enter an affair. Accept what you have, enjoy it while you can, be extra careful and don't be so hard on yourself. Big hugs!
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 11:30pm

Thank you Sunnyday,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 5:24am
I am in the same boat I am a caring giving wonderful person my work helps the community as does his. He is not a bad man and I am not a bad woman we just happened to find each other and I think that if we didn't we wouldn't be in this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 6:59am
I agree with the previous responses. I am very similar to how you describe yourself no one would believe I was I'm an A. I recently read "when good people have affairs" I have downloaded if on my locked I phone. It is a very good book I go back.and read it.a lot. Eventually maybe I will get unstuck. You are not a bad person just have. If you were you would not be posting this very post. Hope you find your peace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 7:03am
Sorry for typos. Still not too good on this touch screen. Meant to.say you are not a bad person just in a bad situation. Along with the rest of us here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 7:49am
Mistery, please take care of yourself. I was just like you, it kept me going but was bittersweet. I ended up anxiety ridden, then panic attacks followed. It turned out to be more then I could handle, with help from my DR., therapy, medication and even my X-AP, I made it through. But it scared my family and everyone around me, including myself. Remember, if the bad outweighs the good, it is time to rethink. My affair ripped me to pieces inside and my body began to physically take a toll, I found out my self medicating bandaides needed to be ripped off so I could heal. Please take care of yourself and don't be so hard on yourself, but be very, very careful a d-day would bring more pain then you and I can even imagine. Big hugs, good luck!
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2008
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 10:04am

I struggle with this as well, mistery, and I do believe that anyone who is in an A and struggles is a good person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 11:04am

Thank you for all of the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2009
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 7:36pm
You are having an affair with your good friend's husband right?

I think you already know the answers to your questions, because you wouldn't be asking otherwise.

And no, I don't think all people in affairs are bad, but I also don't think all affairs are the same, or even close.

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