Am I being irrational????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Am I being irrational????
7
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 8:02am

Last time I talked to AP - which was Sunday - towards the end of him getting out all the latest insanity W is doing - he mentions (he was at work) that it was going to take him longer than usually to finish - so I asked him if he wanted me to let him go -I meant off phone - but he says no never - your my piece on the side forever!


I'm not an idiot - and in harsh reality that is exactly what I am - but to have him actually come out and say it really hurt! I didn't respond - decided that he has been going through alot at home and I would just leave it alone. But can't get it out of my head - one minute I think I'm being petty and the next I want to call him and tell him that that was really a crappy thing to say and it made me feel like trash - I've been going back and forth all week about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 8:53am
I think you have every right to feel like you do and it was really crappy of him to say what he did. Why are you in an A with a MM who wants emotional support from you but offers none in return? I found myself in one like this last year and ended it. It hurt to do it and I still think about him now and then but regrouped and realized that I was doing a disservice to myself by accepting a man like him for my AP. The reason you're in an A is because you don't get what you need at home so why accept this with an AP?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 10:21am
If he hurt you with his words, then you have EVERY right to say something. That doesn't mean that you have to come across bitchy or needy. Just simply explain how that statement made you feel and ask him to consider his words more carefully. In my opinion he needs to consider his thoughts as well. Even if he was just joking, he should know that the comment hurt you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 3:38pm

Don't get me wrong he has been there for me when things with my H are bad and he is usually incredibly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 12:21am
Ouch. I would be incredibly insulted to have someone say something like that to me. You have every right to call him on it. That's the thing about affairs. Here this guy is being intimate with you, sleeping with you, but you don't think you can confront him on something that bothered you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 5:59am
Girl, I would call him, and blast his a** out. That was an incredibly insensitive thing to say! Sometime we say things, and don't realize the impact that it may have on someone else. I would definitely tell him about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 7:27am

JD, you sound like a smart girl.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 7:58am

As usual ladies thanks - decided I was going to say something to him - but now he's not answering or returning my calls.