Am I being too selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Am I being too selfish?
1
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 10:18am
Hi, everyone! I'm so glad I found this board! I started having an affair with a former co-worker two months ago. We have seen each other every day since then and talk on the phone for about two hours per day. We have SO MUCH in common it's scary! Anyway, I quickly developed deep feelings for this man, i.e., love, and we are now talking about moving in together and getting married. I'm currently married for 13 years with two children. Am I selfish to want to be with this man? My marriage has not been good for about 5 yrs or so...no affection, takes me for granted, etc. The OM treats me like a queen and I believe him when he says it will continue...I have thought about leaving my husband before (with no OM involved) because I just get so sick of the crap. He's not abusive by any means, just ignores me and the kids. My OM says I need to take care of myself and do what will make me happy, but is he a just a little biased because he will come out ahead if I do? I'm confused about it all. I'm worried about my girls and how divorce will effect them, yet they see their father and me hardly interact at all. I had told my husband at different points over the last few yrs that he would actually spend more time with them if we were divorced! Your advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 10:51am
There is no such thing as being too selfish - hah! Either you are selfish or not. I think you should go to counselling couple or single and see if you want to save your marriage first before you decide to do anything with the OM. A marriage is always worth a second or third try before you quit. JMHO


Edited 1/2/2004 10:58:45 AM ET by julietsfate