Am i a fool?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2009
Am i a fool?
12
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 8:42pm

Hi everyone,


I'm new here, having just found this site not too long ago.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 12:43am

My first A was much like the one you're currently in. I did it ALL - I made ALL contact first, I set up dates for us, I was the one doing all the driving just to spend an hour with him, I did it ALL. One day, the light bulb turned on and I realized that *I* wasn't getting much out of the A. Sure, there was the physical satisfaction, but the emotional side wasn't there as much. I felt like *I* was doing all the work and he was just along for the ride. I confronted him about it and we split not long afterward.


My current AP lives in a different state and is always offering to drop everything to be with me. He is the one who texts me first thing in the morning and at the beginning of things - he was also the one who always called. I soon realized I was doing to him what had been done to me and stopped doing that. He knows I love to wake up to a text from him and will get up early (even on Sundays!) to insure he is the first one to text. I call him as often as he calls me now.


A true relationship is a two way street. Both have to give.


As for him lying about how is M is... I'm sorry,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 9:19am

Thanks Wheretogo09...you're so right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 10:03am

Please don't knock yourself out.

“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 10:06am
That is not a man who is ever going to leave his wife. He's made it clear that she comes first. From what you say, that marriage seems secure and he's just one of those serial philanderers who fools around on the side. I imagine he's done that his entire married life. I know you don't want to hear this but you really need to examine what kind of man this is and where this affair is going. I see nowhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 10:55am

HI Brokenheatd


I agree with yammtc. He is most likely just out for sex and is a player. If you wanted to proceed with him you need to find out more about him and his marriage. It does not sound like it is all that bad, just that he is not getting his needs met and looks for someone ( you ) to fulfill when he needs it.


You are doing all the work,l

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 10:38pm

Don't you hate how much power we are giving these men ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sun, 06-14-2009 - 10:50am
I agree that this guy is in it for just sex.He made clear that his W is first , irrespective of the state of the M.Rest what he says is all bs , sugar coated stuff,to keep you hooked.
if its not what you are looking for,then find a guy who would suite your needs better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2009
Sun, 06-14-2009 - 11:06am

Hon, men are not as emotional as women and do not need to be in love to have sex, nor do they have to be in bad marriages in order to feel like King Stud screwing two women. It's all ego. If MM were honest, there would be no need for sites like this. However, they know what women want to hear, and know exactly what so say to keep them on the line and catering to them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2009
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 10:14am

Hey Wordmaster007


ALL men are not has you have described. While we are able to have sex without love does not mean that we do. It appears that there are also a lot of women who are doing the same thing. What you say about MM not having to be in a bad marriage in order to feel like King Stud is not true for many of us. Although, yes there are guys like that out there and it appear like broknheartd is involved with one. Some MM ( like myself ) find themselves in this sitiuation due to unhappy, failed marriages, that we should and need to get out of, but do to many different reasons and conditions have not ( at this time ) For me I have finally have gotten to a point where a D is going to happen for me, regardless of having a affair or not.


Broknheartd I reread your initial post and I am even more convinced that this guy is someone who you will regret in the future. He has already lied to you

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 11:44am

The question is why do you give your AP this much power?


“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

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