First off, I don't believe there is either a right or wrong way to have an affair, but I think the way you are dealing with things is comendable. You are not pressuring him and you are keeping yourself together, for the most part. Perhaps your AP is looking at your affair differently than you? In his mind he feels he needs to make a decision between you and his wife?
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Just more of an update.
My AP and I went through a similar time in our relationship.
You remind me a lot of myself in that I worked with my AP for a total of five years.
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