Am I making a mistake?
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| Thu, 11-20-2003 - 8:38am |
IT was two weeks ago this weekend since things have become intimate. That following week, we made tentive plans about having lunch on Friday. Tuesday MM called and said he and his staff have to work on a deal for a potentially huge account. He mentioned they were thinking about going after this account before. He called again Friday and said he was tired, was hacking and said he though he was coming down with something, but wanted to let me know what a wonderful he had the past weekend, and hoped we could slip in a lunch this week. Yesterday he called and said he was at home, with strep throat and didn't think he could make lunch this week. Next week is out since he and his family are flying to visit his folks for thanksgiving.
So in my mind I'm thinking about how many times I have been stood up by my husband; saying he would meet me for lunch, only to get a call on my cell after I have arrived at the restaurant saying something came up and he can't make it. I try to keep things in perspective, but I'm sitting here feeling hurt, like "well here we go again....I'm suppose to be at his beck and call."
Am I letting my emotions get the best of me, or is there something that is going on here. One thing I do know, I would rather end things now, before I have too much emotional invested.
Your honest feedback is most welcome.

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I went through this a lot in the beginning stages of my A; feeling hurt, and a little rejected when he would have to cancel. Unfortunately, I think it just comes with this type of relationship. Then I relaxed a little, and with the help of taking the important step of communicating more with my MM, I realized there was nothing to worry about and he wasn't rejecting me. My MM still does it, and sometimes I have to cancel too. Just relax a little and realize he's juggling a lot.
I'll also tell you that at least for me, the intensity between us goes in waves, and I think it's because after spending time with me (along with the build up of excitement and preoccupation that proceeds our 'meeting') he just needs a break to regroup. I've found that I sometimes need that now too. Just relax a little, and I'll bet that you'll find the peaks and valleys of the emotional rollercoaster will level out a bit soon!!
Hope that helps,
Charlotte
I would like to think he is being honest. He discussed this account several weeks ago, saying they really need this account to make up for the accounts they have lost. He did sound tired and sick when I talked to him. Sure you can fake a cough, but this was "loose" cough, not easy to fake.
I just really don't know what to think at this point.
But as I said in the first post, have these "issues" with my H, and do not want to be an after thought again.
if it hurts, end it. but try to have a little patience and see what happens in the next few weeks, after thanksgiving. you don't need to cut and run just because MM tells you "no" one time. but if that "no" keeps happening, then it's time to call it a day on the A.
and we women are way more emotionally invested than the men in our lives. you don't have to wait around for anyone, but sometimes life is complicated and the logistics of getting together means juggling yours, his, the children's, and/or work schedules and it's difficult to always work it out so you can get together.
try to be a little patient and keep busy with the rest of your life. see what happens.
good luck,
gurl
Edited 2/17/2004 3:34:33 PM ET by gurlfriend50
Today these got me:
"men are really not devious, but mostly clueless."
"you don't need to cut and run just because MM tells you "no" one time."
You are so wise and always tell it like it is!
life...
gurl is right, I believe too that usually "what the man says, is what the man means." Men are such simple creatures! Also, I want you to know that I didn't mean to demean anything you've said or make light of your situation by quoting the above -- I do know how emotionally gut-wrenching all this can be.
Hang in there,
Charlotte
life, here's one direct quote, from a famous man, that i just read this morning during my commute:
"women read into the smallest actions, when we mean nothing by them. there's no mythology behind my moving the bread basket over to your side of the table. sometimes a cigar's just a cigar." from john cusack in cosmo.
in other words, guys say what they mean and we women look for a deeper meaning that isn't there!!
it will work out. have faith!
gurl
Gosh! The next time I start thinking like this, I will have to say to myself, "Run Forest, Run!!!"
I need a drink. What time does the bar open.....I'm buying the first round.
Hugs to all
cheers to all,
gurl
Edited 2/17/2004 3:35:51 PM ET by gurlfriend50
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