Am I making a mistake?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Am I making a mistake?
15
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 8:38am
I'm giving some serious thought about ending my A. This has nothing to do with guilt, but more to do with projecting what has happened in my miserable marriage onto my MM.

IT was two weeks ago this weekend since things have become intimate. That following week, we made tentive plans about having lunch on Friday. Tuesday MM called and said he and his staff have to work on a deal for a potentially huge account. He mentioned they were thinking about going after this account before. He called again Friday and said he was tired, was hacking and said he though he was coming down with something, but wanted to let me know what a wonderful he had the past weekend, and hoped we could slip in a lunch this week. Yesterday he called and said he was at home, with strep throat and didn't think he could make lunch this week. Next week is out since he and his family are flying to visit his folks for thanksgiving.

So in my mind I'm thinking about how many times I have been stood up by my husband; saying he would meet me for lunch, only to get a call on my cell after I have arrived at the restaurant saying something came up and he can't make it. I try to keep things in perspective, but I'm sitting here feeling hurt, like "well here we go again....I'm suppose to be at his beck and call."

Am I letting my emotions get the best of me, or is there something that is going on here. One thing I do know, I would rather end things now, before I have too much emotional invested.

Your honest feedback is most welcome.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 10:01am
I thought I had all this right in my mind yesterday. MM said he would "definately" call me or be on line yesterday. Nothing, nada, zip.

AFter not sleeping well last night over this. I'm back at square one. Ok, he has been busy, how long does it take to make a call on his cell phone driving 30 minutes to or from work?


I just feel sick over this

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 10:08am
Life, I think you should sit back, take a deep breath, and RELAX. You said your MM has a busy/stressful type of job. So does mine, he owns a large company. And with men, work really comes first when something big is going on. I was all stressing myself out over the same stuff earlier this fall, then he got in touch and apologized, told me the s*** was hitting the fan at work etc.

I know even with my H, work is very top priority to men, it takes alot of their time and thoughts. I'm sure when he gets everything straightened out, he will be right back with you and things will be great!!

Just hang tough for now, and remember, he wants to be with you, its just circumstances in the way right now. Things will get better, I find they go in cycles. Best wishes,

Dusty
xxxx
Avatar for stillwingy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 10:10am
Just a question, does he normally call you on his cell phone? My MM tries to avoid it since the numbers will appear itemized on the bill that his wife sees. Not such a big deal if it's only on there rarely but we screwed up one month and had a lot of backpedaling to do.

I can understand your frustration- I am admittedly very needy when it comes to contact even tho I should just have faith in our feelings for each other it is so darn hard to not hear from him. You should see me on the weekends!! Total mess, but then back to the weekdays of emailing, calling, im'ing nonstop and I'm cool as a cucumber. Whenever I feel the meltdown starting to happen I just have to refocus or I'll go nuts- I try to remind myself that tomorrow this will all look completly different and I can decide right now if I'd like to look back on it with my self respect still intact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 10:28am
Yes he has a cell. It's a work cell, so the bill never comes home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 11:55am
Gender generalizations - I assume all will chill out eventually, but great giggles for a Friday.

Perhaps this will help:

About a week ago on an irrevrent Boston-based radio show:

(Male) Talk Jock #1: "Hey they just released a survey that concluded that women are much more vocal and better communicators than men."

(Male) Talk Jock #2: "Well, DUH"

You'll get it on the drive home.

All, please live and love well!

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