Am I Nuts?
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Am I Nuts?
| Wed, 10-22-2008 - 1:01am |
I am a 40 year old woman, and I find myself to be VERY attracted to a younger man at work.
| Wed, 10-22-2008 - 1:01am |
I am a 40 year old woman, and I find myself to be VERY attracted to a younger man at work.
Even if you were "liquored up and laquered down", if you truly don't want something to happen, it won't. By saying that you're not sure something wouldn't happen if you had a few under your belt, you've just given yourself "permission", if that situation ever arises.
A simple feeling of attraction, with no inappropriate conversations, no "accidental" touches, etc., is perfectly fine and natural. It happens all the time. And it happens with people we know it would be disaster to ever connect with. Do you think teachers at the high school level are NEVER attracted to their students? I'm sure a good number of them are, both men and women, but they wouldn't dream of acting on it if they have any ethics at all. I'm sure many psychologists are attracted to patients of theirs, but they know it would be an abuse of power somewhat to act on it.
So if you don't want anything to happen, just decide that it won't. Enjoy the attraction, it makes life a little more interesting LOL. But if you don't let anything inappropriate happen, you will be fine.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
Hi,
You are not nuts.
Nuts for feeling the attraction and desperately wishing for it to be a situation where you *could* get together?? No way. I am in the same position as you, except I'm also married. I am very, very attracted to my husband's (married) best friend and I know he is also attracted to me. It's kind of exhilarating to keep up a flirtation w/ a forbidden partner, but that's all it's been (a flirtation) and that's how it's going to have to stay. I mean, it's fun right now because it's a carefree, exciting feeling. But it wouldn't be carefree any longer if you did start an A w/ this guy and then developed real feelings for him. Once you have real feelings for him and he still has a wife, there is nothing carefree about it. I was
Yea....I know that I need to just forget about it.
WOW, what a great post missbhavin!!
Lots of awesome advice and words of wisdom.
Santoria,
First of all - you are NOT nuts! Secondly - I could of written your post. I recently have been in contact with a 28 yo single guy, I am married. I am 46.
I love your post. I too, have been on both sides! It is exhilarating as a woman in my 40's to have men, especially younger men, interested in me. I love to flirt but am very careful now. There has been a man older than me who has smiled quite a bit at me in our morning coffee place. I felt he was very interested in me and loved the fact of going in, seeing him smile so flirtatiously, then have me walk out. The last time I was in the coffee shop, I waved him over and he dropped his newspaper all over the floor. I told him he looked familiar and was wondering where I knew him from. He said "yeah, you look familiar as well." I was with a friend at the time (actually sitting down when I normally leave) and he acted very cool. I'm not sure if he was nervous or what but before he had looked my way, I saw him peeking at me between the coffee bags on a shelf-very funny. The funny part is since that day, I left on vacation for a month so I know he is wondering why, after speaking to me, I am no longer coming in! I find it much more fun to flirt and leave it there than to be involved fully in an affair where there are so many complications not to mention the hurt and pain it causes. I admit it is more exciting to flirt and wonder than to know and not be able to stop! I admit I am looking forward to walking in that coffee shop in a week and a half tan and with a new haircut to see the look on his face since I will be gone a full month!
So, Santoria, many of us have been there and are there! You are far from nuts but believe us when we tell you, it is very tempting to want to kiss him and see how good it is but once you do, you're sunk!! You wont want to stop at a kiss and what follows is not all fun but heart ache and pain for everyone involved. Enjoy your flirtations and let that make you feel good!