Am I overreacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Am I overreacting?
3
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 2:48pm
OK- could use advice from others in a similar situation. I've been involved with MM for 2 years. I won't get into all of our background but all in all we have had a very loving and good relationship. He has been at his vacation home over the holidays so we have had limited contact though he has made some quick calls. I wouldn't expect anymore and was contact with this. Anyway, I have been dealing with a health issue and found out this week that I would have to have minor surgery to have a cancerous lesion removed from my cervix. Very stressful to say the least. Well early this a.m. was the surgery and he didn't (or couldn't) call the day before but did call during and left a message for me to pls call and let him know how I was. When I called him after getting home groggy and all I found out he was back in town b/c he had to do something in the office. He then said he was heading back to his other home out of town after the day. He then apologized for not calling ahead of time. But here's the thing- this was a VERY stressful time for me and I got mad that he not only made it possible to call and tell me he was thinking of me right before, but he also was going back to his other home for the weekend and was obviously planning to check on me via phone even though he was in town for the day. This infuriated me and really hurt my feelings. I feel like particularly in this situation that I deserve more than that. AND I'M HURT!!!!!!!!!!! I ended the conversation saying that I didn't feel like talking, he thought I was mad, I told him I wasn't, he asked if he could call back in a few hours and I said no. I told him to leave me alone. He got very quiet and I could tell he was upset and we hung up.

Was I unreasonable? I have a habit of pushing him away when I get upset and he always says he won't allow that to happen. He says I kill him when I tear him down by making him feel guilty for not being able to be there. I don't wver yell at him, but the one thing we do have that is paramount is honesty between us. (yes, I know weird considering he's married)

HELP please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 5:55pm
i know how much it hurts to be alone at a time when you are hurting or scared. as far as your relationship with your MM. you have to see the relationship for what it is. he has chosen to be with his family and that means you are not the priority in his life. i have been there. it sucks. you really have no rights in relationships like these. you cant afford expectations, or promises fullfilled. you just get what comes your way and be thankful for that...or you walk away. i know its hard but no one ever said an A was easy to be involved in.

i do hope your surgery went well and you have recovered. lots of prayers and hugs to you.

laura
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 7:28pm
Yes, you are overreacting. Perhaps the medication from the surgery is causing you to be more emotional. Count your blessings and be happy that he seems to care deeply for you. He did call and when you recover you will be able to spend time together and you will be reassured of his love. Good luck in your recovery.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 10:36pm
Hello Icrunch

No you did not over react you are just expecting to much this is an A , he is married and will most likely always put the home fires first .

The truth is the wife gets the cake and we get the crumbs 99 time out of a 100.

By the way you have a right to hurt your human.

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