Am I really in the wrong here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2009
Am I really in the wrong here?
2
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 12:23pm

Okay here it goes...


As most of you know I am now divorced and with my AP (now BF). He is still married and was supposed to be divorce this friday, but isn't happening now. UGH!!!


I am having a problem with BF and the way he seems to be so secretive about his STBXW. I'm so frustrated I could spit fire. I was so looking forward to spending a great weekend with my 100% BF that I was no longer sharing with his W. But tuesday I got my hopes shot down. I had to ask how things were going with the D and if they were going to have to go to court on Friday or not. He pauses and says, "Well her attorney hasn't even drawn up the final papers." Frustarated I was. He knew this all along and wasn't deciding to tell me. I'm sorry but I feel that is something very important that should have been shared with me. But he says well I didn't want to piss you off or upset you with the news so I was just going to let it go. OKAY REALLY?!?!?! Was he really going to wait till I asked about it.


I'm always having to ask for information about the status of his marriage. I don't like it. I am like an open book with him when it comes to me and any communication between my XH and me. I want to keep that trust I have with him. I always confide in him and share everything with him.


He knows this bothers me as we just talked about it tuesday...again for the millionth time.


So last night we were sitting on the computer looking things up and his phone rang. It was her...he chose to ignore it and not answer. He NEVER answers his phone when it's her around me. WHY?? In my head what is it that he's hiding? Then we went to get the mail and he checked his voicemail from her. Knowing what he was doing I asked who he was calling. He proceeded to ignore me for a min until I asked again. He said I'm just checking my vm does it sound like I'm talking to anyone. Why can't he share things with me. For all I know she could be leaving him messages saying she loves him and wants him back.


So am I wrong for feeling this way? Should he share things with me when it comes to his STBXW? I mean he lives with me 100%. I just don't want to not trust him when it comes to her. When he picks up and drops off his kids, it's never a quick exchange. But when me and XH exchange it's very quick. We don't sit and chit chat. UGH I'm just so frustrated and don't know what to do.


Please be kind if I'm wrong, instead of bashing help me understand. Cause I obviously don't get it.

cntrygirl03
cntrygirl03
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2009
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 4:00pm

I tend to obsess over things like this too but then I remind myself that I can't change him or anything he does.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2009
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 5:14pm

Oldtimer,


Thank you for your input, I do value it. I

cntrygirl03