Anniversary reflections - long

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
Anniversary reflections - long
2
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 9:57am

Today is my 6th anniversary with AP. We've had very little drama through the years. No D days. We've always been very careful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 11:21am

Welcome to MAS me_time!

I see a lot of myself in your post. It's been 11 years for me and my OM also. One big difference is that he's single.

One thing I decided early on, and told my OM to do also, was to make big life decisions as if he were not a part of the equation. Since I've always been honest with him that I would not leave my M, if he should get an opportunity to move elsewhere, or date someone, etc., he should act and decide the same way he would if I was not in his life, and I would do the same. If my H and I were considering a move that would benefit our family or life situation, I would have to make the decision based just on my family's welfare. As bereft as I would be if we were to be apart because of that decision, I THINK that's what I would do. (I say "think" because it's never been tested really.)

Keep posting here and sharing. Everyone's opinion is helpful, maybe someone else has something to say, or some personal experience.

Proud to be a



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 1:12pm
I think this is what's very challenging about an A. That while it "counts" in some ways, it cannot "count" in all ways. So when we are faced with a big decision about life, and we know we shouldn't think about AP when making the decision, and when he/she has told us not to think about them, it is just impossible not to. They are a part of our life and they do matter, but in a way that cannot be revealed. It's very hard.

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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