annoyed with MM last night(rant)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
annoyed with MM last night(rant)
5
Sun, 12-28-2003 - 11:14pm
I have to admit, that I was annoyed with MM last night. I guess I'll have to tell everyone from the beginning. MM and I started together in 1999. It'll be five years this coming year. In 2000, I was pregnant with DD. I wasn't sure if MM or H was the father. In my seventh month, MM broke up with me. I can understand his reasoning. He was giving me a chance to try and work things out with H. Shortly after our break up, MM started to see another woman at the job. In the end, he said that he was being immature, and was trying to make me jealous. Of course I was jealous, and hurt that he could do something like this at the time. After I returned from having DD, MM and I started up together again. He hasn't done anything like this since, and we've been quite happy. Last night at work, we were talking about this couple we both know and how they split up. The female is talking with another guy in the job when the ex-mm comes around. She's trying to make him jealous. MM told me, that if that ever happened between us, he would never take me back, and be insulted that I would even do anything like this. Now, can you believe my surprise when he said this. I told him, "WHY was it OK that you can do something like that, and if I did, I would be in the doghouse". No answer. I love him dearly, and he knows this. I can only attribute it to him being insecure. However, where does he get off with this type of attitude. I have never said anyhting about leaving, and can honestly say that I haven't even looked at another man with any type of interest since I hooked up with him. He is everything I want. I still was annoyed, and didn't talk to him until our last break. Then, he told me, that I wouldn't just let it go and that he would always have that hanging over his head. I told him, that I was only making a point and that had no intention of going. I also told him, that something like that wasn't very easy to let go, and it still hurts thinking about that time in our relationship. If he hadn't came up with that narrow minded opinion, I would never had said anything. Am I wrong to get upset? What's everyones take on this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 2:12am
I really don't blame you at all for getting annoyed. I know that I would have reacted the same way as you did. I would think that he could take a moment and step back and take a look from your point of view. Anyhow, I would have been annoyed also and I probably wouldn't have let it drop or let him get away with not answering my questions. So don't blame you at all....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 8:19am
I would have reacted just as you did also. You guys have a very long term relationship and he should answer your questions about anything. My SM told me once..if you have any other guys (except H) then I am out..but yet he flirts with anyone and who knows what else since he is single (he says he doesn't). It seems that some guys just enjoy knowing that we are theirs and theirs alone and they won't tolerate the head games that they deal to us. C
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 10:27am
I know what you mean. I've never given him any reason to believe that I would end our Relationship. That's the furthest thing from my mind. I know that he's still insecure. Even after all these years. It just bothers me that when he ended things, and went to someone else, to make me jealous he says, it was OK. If he had just stayed with his W, then I wouldn't have been as upset. But he went to another woman. That hurt me so bad. Now he's telling me if I did something like that, it would be over. It's trying to make him understand my point of view. I love him so much. I've never felt this way about anyone. I'm hoping that things work out for the best for us, and that one day we will be together. Hopefully he will learn that for me, there is only him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 11:18am
So is your baby your H's or your MM's ?????? If you know the answer to that. What did you do to find out?

I am very curious. As that was my fear of getting pregnant by my OM.

As far as getting annoyed. I understand. It always is a double standard when it comes to relationships with men. Sad isn't it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 4:02pm
Very sad!. I still don't know who is DD's father. We didn't a paternity test or anything like that. How would I explain that one to H. I have this feeling that H is her father though. Everyone tells me that she looks like me, and then his family says she looks like him. When I look at pictures of me and H when we were kids, some look like DD at that age. On both sides. I'm not afraid of getting pregnant with MM's baby. It's H finding out that scares me.