Another End............

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Another End............
3
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 9:07am
Except in my case there never was an EMA....it was more an EMF (extra marital fantasy). It was so close to turning into more....we had just discussed our attraction to each other, we were talking every day by email, and saw each other once a week. But there was never any touching (nothing inappropriate anyway). So then his gfriend (of 3.5 yrs) read his email account (he mistakening left it open when he went to work) and lost it. That was Thursday. Since then, I wasn't sure where he and I stood but he came by my work yesterday and we talked briefly and he left me with the impression that things were ok. When I got home from work, there was a message from him saying "We can't talk anymore. I messed up and we can't have a relationship. Sorry." That's it. We never had a "relationship". This is bothering me so much but I'm trying desperately to not let it show (I'm married). All I keep seeing is his face. We still have to see each other once a week and I'm not sure how to handle that. Although we never, ever got to the "A" part, I felt a connection with him and I know he did with me. I keep praying that his gfriend made him write that email and that we'll still be ok but just ALOT more careful. I don't know what to do. I want to email him back and pour it all out how I feel but I don't think that's a good idea. I'm going to stay quiet and maybe he'l get the hint of how hurt I am (generally, I respond to everything he writes me).

Please, if any of you have advice or similar experiences, please share them with me. I don't know how to feel about this since there was no affair but i'm having to end a relationship anyway. It seems so unfair.

Thanks!! Now I understand why you guys need this support so badly!! This is crazy!

hugs to all of you!

nsw

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 1:26pm
i know exactly how you feel. i am having this EMF with someone dear, but it seems to be sliding more and more into the toilet everyday. he is married too, with kids, i have no kids, but am married, and what started with furiously passionate emails and text messages has been fizzling to barely a its sunny here the passed two weeks.. he lives about a three hour flight away and we had one amazing day together at H's brother's wedding.. we just clicked and had fire, and just held eachtother and said what should we do, what to do.... etc. i dunno what to tell you. keeping quiet for a few days may be okay, but maybe drop him a line just to tell him you are sorry things couldn't have been different, but that you will never forget your amazing connection. thats about all i can say, good luck!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 7:08pm
Thank you....it's just starting to sink in that what I've been dreaming about for months isn't going to happen. All I want is to talk to someone right now and cry!! I wish I could tell him how I feel. I wish it would be ok to hug him....I never even got to do that. I know he felt the same way.....I could tell by his eyes and his smile and everything he would say to me. I keep hoping and praying that this will all be ok when I have to see him on Thursday. (I hope his gf didn't make him drop out of university too!!!). I can't let go yet of everything. I know I'm married but I also know my marriage is on the way out...it should never have happened in the first place. I just feel that we've lost before we even got to start. I don't even care to have an "affair" with him right now. It's not the physical attraction that I'm upset about loosing....it's his friendship and the possibility that soul mates really do exist.

Thank you for letting me vent. I plan on doing that alot since there is no one else that knows how I truely feel about all this.

((hugs))

NSW

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 8:49am
anytime you need to talk you can email me, mikkolover@hotmail.com, i am also married, and know what its like to loose someone you have such an amazing connection with and then come close to or loose it.. i hope all works out for you, but know that i am here.. byee