Another One Bites The Dust

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Another One Bites The Dust
13
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 1:13pm


I guess it's the season for it. My AP - XAP - called me this morning and after a bit of chat, told me he couldn't do this any more.

Had he been uncovered? Was it a D-day? No, just the b*tch in his life, work. Next year he's going to have to spend half his week in another city. At first he was going to commute, but that was never practical and I told him that. When I asked about us, he said it wasn't going to be much more of a journey for him than now. Now he's come to realise that he can't do that and will need to stay away for two nights.

Now I did think this might be coming, but I also thought, hey, maybe that means we could have a night together! He could stay with me, leave in the morning for the city. Or stay with me at the other end. Why not, if it wouldn't make that much difference to his journey? And to be honest, I'd happily only see him once a month or so if it meant that we had some quality time together; sex isn't something I need every week.

Never got to discuss that with him though.. his mind's made up. Everything for him is things he can't do, or wish he hadn't done. There's never any "I can" with him. Life is so hard, my dad doesn't love/respect me - maybe he might if you grew a pair?

I asked him if he felt strange knowing he'd never to speak to me again and he said "won't we?" WTF? No way am I listening to him tell me how bad his life is. He said ok, he could tell me "semi-amusing things" instead... as if he had any sort of life that didn't involve work.

Anyway, we talked for nearly two hours and I don't know why. He said it was because he didn't want the conversation to end - why do they say things like that? He's the one who wanted out.

So, that's me done. That's where years and years go, without even a discussion.

D

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 2:44pm
I am so sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 3:18pm
I am so very sorry it is over. I hope that you can one day find some sense of worth in those years and years you speak of. My A is new, and I know what the odds are....even though he is single. That one day, I, too will be postin "another one bites the dust"...I just hope that I never FULLY regret it.....there had to have been some good times that will fade into memories that make you smile in the back of your heart, while your life moves forward and continues to be filled with people who love you and you love back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 10:21am

Thanks guys. Had a bad night but feel ok today. Guess it comes and goes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 12:57pm

Hi Darkpools -


Just trying to catch up a bit and wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you.


How are you doing today??

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 1:18pm
Hmm. We'll see how long that lasts. My guess is he'll soon realize what he's missing. The question is, would you want him back? And if so, on what terms?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Tue, 12-02-2008 - 2:50pm

Hiya

I'm ok thanks - luckily work is very busy and I'm sometimes working til late night so I'm pretty tired. It feels odd not to speak to him every day though. I think it won't really hit me for a while. I'm glad I found this place before it happened though!

D x

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Tue, 12-02-2008 - 3:27pm

I've not even thought about it, to be honest. I can't see him coming back - and we've known each other a long time, so he knows what he's giving up. He did say he'd like to be able to take me out to dinner sometimes but I told him it wasn't a good idea.

I really don't know.

D x

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Tue, 12-02-2008 - 5:28pm

Oh Darkpools, I am so sorry. I know that this has to be terribly difficult for you. I don't care if it was an A or not, you can't spend that many years w/ a person, and not develop some strong attachments, and love. It really good that you know NC is the way to go. I think men like to use that "Can't we still be friends?" line because it appeases their guilt somehow. I am like shoot don't do me no favors.

Well, I don't know if it will be any comfort to you, but I'm going through the same thing right besides you. I am having a hard time, but if there is anything that I can do to help just holler! Feel better soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 7:05pm


Thanks Justice.. sorry not to have replied earlier but to round off an all-round cr*ppy week my Gramma was taken to hospital and died last night. I've driven 400 or so miles in the last couple of days and will be doing it all again for the funeral.. Just when I need someone to hold me, y'know?

I hopwe you're doing ok

D x

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 10:22pm

Hijacking the thread.

darkpools I am so sorry about your grandmother's passing.

Pisces

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