Anticipation Building again

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Anticipation Building again
8
Tue, 08-11-2009 - 7:43pm
And i will see him again this coming weekend.. its his birthday, and of course i'm making a cake. I want to pour chocolate on him and tell him he's my lollipop. If i wouldn't get arrested for indecent exposure, i'd wrap myself in nothing but a bow.
We had a hard time behaving around our friends this past weekend. I think it was the hardest yet to be casual. We all went out to dinner and hung out with each other for the whole evening. We did sneak away for awhile to be alone and that was nice. It's getting harder and harder not to get physically involved with him. The attraction is so strong, lately its all i think about. Esp. since we have been emailing each other practically every day. We almost went out on a date this past weekend too, but i was too tired. We agreed next time we'll plan it better. A date??... that's something new for him and i to be doing. We haven't gone out on a date in over a year and a half.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 7:11am

Sounds yummy! good for you. Have you had sex with him? I couldn't tell for sure. Enjoy!

-jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 7:36am
no, we havent done the "deed" yet...That would be just another layer of confusion for me. i am not emotionally ready to handle that...too much other stuff in my life going on. We have such an emotional connection to each other, something like i've never known. Have you ever been able to read someone else's mind? Or intuitively know what they are thinking and/or what they are going to do? That's how it is for us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 9:53am

Caution ! you are in danger zone.

A strong emotional connection with huge sexual attraction is nothing but a recipe for disaster.i wont say run because you have already dived in.

All the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 7:18pm
What kind of disaster are you referring to? D-day or broken hearts? We already had several d-days by our spouses over the last two years...nothing new there...i think they realized there's nothing they can do to keep us apart, even as friends. My stbxh knows i go out and see him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:18pm

what about broken hearts? i guess your AP is MM.after you are D,what if he doesnt leave?will you be alright with it?
You are not friends.Your post says much more than you believe you are writing,KWIM? You are in too deep,dolly.
Talk about affairs of the heart !

I hope you keep getting what you desire.(( hugs ))

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 8:41pm

"You are not friends.Your post says much more than you believe you are writing,KWIM? You are in too deep,dolly."
No, i dont know what you mean...whaddya mean we are not friends? He is one of the best friends i have ever had.

And as far as to whats going to happen after i get divorced, i believe i will continue on doing what i know in my heart to be the right thing. Which is living my life. And what will happen to me and AP after i divorce is something i have no way of knowing. Life hasn't stopped for me just because of him in it. My world doesn't revolve around him, either. Yes, i get excited when i know i am going to see him, but i dont sit there and dwell on it. I also dont sit there all day waiting for him to contact me either. That's just silly, imo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 2:55pm
I mean that you are much much more than friends.Friends dont wanna kiss or have sexual thoughts of one another.Even though its still in your head,its there.and you will feel it reciprocated as well especially if you are feeling it,kwim? let me explain- if you are in close proximity and chatting casually but are wanting to kiss him or having sexual thoughts,he will be able to pick up and will be aroused as well.then you both know each others desires.The dangerous part of all this is that you are emotionally in too deep already.
hopefully this makes sense and prepares you head on as to where you are going.
I would advice to let this stay as EA and dont go ahead with PA.You wont be you after that.Have you kissed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sat, 08-15-2009 - 10:26pm
Yeah last nite we did in front of our friends for the first time. Nothing inappropriate, tho. Usually we are more discreet than that. We dont have long passionate kisses with each other cuz we know what that will do to both of us. And as i said before i dont need more emotional turmoil by doing something before either of us is ready.