Any Advice?? She Won't Give Up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Any Advice?? She Won't Give Up!!!
4
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:07am
You've probably seen me here a few times giving advice. If you remember, 6 years ago i almost had that "affair" with a much older mm. I backed out; and met a great guy a few months later. Well, i guess you could say when i first met my now H, i was considered the ow. He wasn't married, but had a gf. He couldn't make up his mind it seemed, but did marry me instead of the gf. Well, that was 5 years ago we were married. To this day, she will not give up. She hates me. She is now married too, but won't give up. She moved across the street from us last summer, but only 2 months. Well, haven't seen her since then, but she comes up to my mother in a store today, and says she will personally come to my home and attack me. I am afraid, because my husband; her ex; isn't here sometimes. She is lying on me, saying she talked to the police, saying i follow her all the time which is a lie. Why won't she give up on him?? I mean, he chose me. He's still with me. She's married. But is making my life a living hell. It has been since last summer i saw her, and she's still making her threats to me. I guess she is still bitter because in her mind, she didn't win. But they weren't even married when he was seeing me. Should i be afraid?? i mean, sure i was the ow at the time, but he chose who he loved; Me. So why don't she leave me and him alone now??? it's been too long, and she needs to get over it. Any advice?? should i be afraid of her; or is she just mouthing off?? I always like to come to the board here; because i can relate so much. Any advice would be appreciated. After years of losing him, hanging on to hope that isn't there, making threats to me, and wanting to hurt me. I am sick of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:26am
I hear ye. Its hard to be in such a situation with the gf geting behind you all the time. It gets so tiring and old after a while.. I know what you mean by "he chose me" part, well, some people just don't get it. I would say leave the ugly buisness of shutting her up to the husband after all she was his ex, not yours. Easier said than done, exp if they can tempt you all the time with words. I have no other other useful suggestions here, just gotta deal with it sometimes.

PS: Sometimes I take it all as Karma, if you know what I mean. After all I must have contributed something to their break up....




Edited 3/4/2004 11:04:24 AM ET by julietsfate

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:55am
Sometimes these ex's are not so bad as you own friends. They can turn against you so much - that you'll wonder where than came from as you did see that coming from them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 11:03am

hey heavenlyangel -- girl, you need to document all xGF's actions/phone calls/nasty comments to you and others

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:36pm
I agree with you. I am thinking of getting a criminal tresspass card filed. I don't like to be ugly like that, but i can't take anymore. There's been time periods where she'll actually leave me alone for a year or so. Then it starts right back up. I can't help but think she could be dangerous if i don't do anything. She knows where we live. I told him yesterday to do something about this. I was crying and upset. He's pretty mad too. I just don't think he has the courage to step up to her. I think he may feel sorry for her too. So i will probably be the one who puts a stop to it. Thanks for all the advice. You were smart in telling me to document everything. I hadn't thought of that before. I'll do that from now on. Thanks everybody.