Is anybody here in a HAPPY M?
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| Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:32pm |
In his case, he's just been married a very long time (29 yrs) and I think he wanted to know what it felt like to be in a "new" relationship...and he loves the company of women. He really wanted a close female friend and felt that that made a sexual relationship "inevitable".
In my case, I'm very lonely...I sought him out after my best friend moved away, and now i can't imagine living without his influence in my life. I felt less guilt than most Ws do because my H has always been obsessed with the idea of my potential infidelity (even though I was faithful 15 years) probably because of his own As, and I guess I just never "felt" like a faithful wife the whole time that i was, because I was always under suspicion...it's hard to feel guilty after being wrongfully accused for years...but apart from that, my marriage is happy, as is MM's...
any one else in the same boat?
Barefoot

I saw your other post re confiding in friends, BTW. OMM has told all kinds of male friends, which kinda freaks me out, to be honest. I think it's the guy brag factor — there's some guy cachet in saying "I have a MISTRESS, nyah nyah". On my side, I would never tell. I just see it as too risky. My solution is that I've told my closest girlfriend that I have a really, really close male friend. I tell her the things I feel like telling her, minus the sex bits...maybe she suspects that there is more to the relationship than I've let on, but she would never ask. And OMM's life and mine are totally unconnected through work or anything else, it would be hard for anyone to figure the situation out.
Take care, birdie.
barefoot
I've been happily married for 11 years and we've been together 19. He's a real gem and he loves me wholeheartedly. He's funny, smart, handsome and we have a decent sex life (no real fireworks anymore but what can you expect after 19 years?). I NEVER thought an A would happen to me but yet, here I am. Strangely, most of the time I feel little, if any, guilt. The A seems so separate from my M. I love both these men but in completely different ways. I have no desire to leave my M for my MM and he doesn't want to leave his W for me. Like you said, we get the best of each other and we love being able to escape the pressures of daily life.
I always think there must be something terribly wrong with me so it was nice to see your post. Most of the time, I feel like the luckiest (and possibly greediest) woman in the world because I get to spend my time with two of the most amazing men I know.
Happy Day!
Jess
OM is those things also but in a different way
DH and I have a history. We have a home. It's like flannel pjs and soft socks.
Being with OM is 3inch heels and short skirts.
As I stated in a previous post, my reason for my A is that for the past couple of years I've gotten bored. It hasn't changed the way I feel about my husband at all, I just need a bit of more excitment in my life or I'll lose my mind. My OM makes my life fun and exciting. Sometimes, even while I'm with my OM, I think of my DH and wish it was him instead. But I've tried for years and my DH just isn't interested. It's not that he doesn't love me or doesn't want to please me, it's just that it isn't in him.
Sometimes I think he knows or suspects something, but lets it go because maybe he feels this makes me happy and well, it saves him the trouble and the nagging.
My DH is a complicated man, and not the type to express his feelings very often. Who knows what goes on on his mind...
deedee
Another thing that has occurred to me lately is that it makes perfect sense that the happiest husbands make good OMs, because, they're happily married for a reason!! They know how to get along with women and keep a woman happy. My OM and his wife have an awesome, strong marriage (including a good sex life) and I admire that rather than feel jealous of his W because it takes work to be together 29 years, they deserve that happiness. My worst nightmare with respect to this A is that his W will find out and be hurt. If it were my H who found out, I could work on mending things with him, and he's had As before, so, he would understand more. But I feel very protective of OM's W. I'm constantly reminding him to be careful...