Anybody Religious?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Anybody Religious?
45
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 11:19pm
Religion was one particular reason that stopped me from taking my emotional affair to any other level. I mean I could micro-analyze my marriage and come up with reasons to justify cheating to my own self but could not justify it to God. I am supposed to “guard my modesty” in relation to my husband and I couldn’t bring myself to break that decree. I and MM belong to different faiths but for him it was the religious reason too that held him back. I and MM could generate heat in excess of couple of hundred degrees ..lol.. but it’s the religion besides our idiosyncratic personalities that wouldn’t let us do it.

I am curious to know how other board members (who consider themselves actively religious) handle the religious aspect that considers adultery a serious sin. Do you feel like a sinner and think that other areas of your life might be getting affected by the adultery act (they say people get punished in this world too besides in the other world)? Do you feel that your prayers work?

PG

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:16am
I did not post to this because for me being religious is a personal experience. Its my "thing" with God... LOL. BTW, when I talk of God I am not talking of one God of one particular religion here that I appeal to "different" Gods/Goddesses depending upon my mood... LOL. Do I think being religious mix with being in an affair?? Well, does being gay and religious mix or being a criminal and begging for forgiveness mix?? You think about it...

As far my prayer being answered, yes, they have been answered many a times over and over. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:38am
I believe my prayers have been answered, too....and some that I felt weren't answered, they really were...the answer was just "no." Thanks for everyone's input...this has been a great thread!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:48am
LOL about the "no" part. Yes, He has answered me in different ways - some yes and some no. And you know what, often, He has said "no" because He felt I could do it some other way!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 12:03pm
Juliet...I couldn't agree more. It applies in my life the same way! Have a great Friday!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 4:49pm
So basically, the consensus here is that being religious has nothing to do with the affair, because it has no effect on your actions?? Is it two separate issues? Is it that religion takes a back seat to your affair? I'm not religious at all I don't know how it works, but it was always my understanding that religious people were motivated by their beliefs? Aren't christians quite adamant about their beliefs and living by them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 4:59pm
I don't think that is the consensus here at all. The responses I read said mostly that they have values and religious beliefs but that they are human and can't always live up to them. My post, of course, said I'm not religious but that having an affair does violate my belief system. But again, I am human.

I am not a Christian, but just about everyone I know is. And each of them has their own view of that religion and what it means to them. Not to mention there are thousands of different denominations of Christianity. I don't think you can lump them all together and think that their beliefs will be the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:25pm
So it violates your belief system, but not to the extent that it influences your actions?? Still confuses me a bit I guess. If you have a belief system, what good is it if you don't cultivate it with actions? It's not a belief system when you don't follow it, because then you don't *believe* it. What I am really concerned with is, something someone else brought up in another post, responsibility I guess. I don't know. I'm just not following the explanations given here. I dont buy the 'I'm human' excuse. We all have reasons for what we do, and just leave it at that. Everybody is human obviously, so justifying actions with that line is just an excuse in my book. Who do you owe explanations to? Yourself, and maybe a few others. Just at least be honest with yourself. It's not because 'you're human'. Everyone is human and not everyone cheats on their spouse. I cheat because it's a selfish desire I am indulging in. If I was religious, I would have to admit that, I am obviously not very faithful to my beliefs, because I was severly compromising one of them.

Why do people feel the need to come up with excuses??? We're all in adult situations, so behave like adults.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 6:58pm
always, nobody here is giving an excuse - we all are just giving our opinions in being an affair and how being religious or not affects us. Even omaha didn't say "I am human" to give YOU an excuse but merely that we are humans and with being a human comes complex life situations that do question your belief and values sometimes. There is no black or white here. Why does your post come off as so hostile when you yourself are in such a situation according to the posts here like this one:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=35054.71

Why judge when you are in the box?


Edited 3/13/2004 7:59 am ET ET by funnyface03

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 11:08pm
I think it's important to remember that God is about forgiveness, not about punishment. There is no degree of sin in His eyes. An affair is no different than stealing a pack of Juicyfruit from the 7-11 or from killing someone. It's all sin. And, by the way, we are all sinners and we all sin every day. The difference, in my mind, is that we have chosen to repeat behavior that we know is wrong in His eyes. Having said that -- I often ask myself how loving someone can be wrong. I'm a Christian. I struggle with this issue every minute of every day -- as does OM. But I also know that God knows my inner heart and my desires and needs. And He loves me anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 11:02pm
Saying "I'm human" isn't an excuse for doing something that violates my belief system. It is simply stating fact. We all do things we know to be wrong. Usually every decision we make is an internal struggle. Sometimes it will be sexual desire versus morality. Sometimes it will be hunger versus a desire to look attractive. One side will win out. Is it always the best or "right" side? Of course not. Because we are all fallible and we all make mistakes. I, for one, intend to stop the behavior that violates my belief system because I'm not happy with how that makes me feel about myself. But I'm not going to sit here and judge others who feel their life and their situations are different. Just because you're not a Christian doesn't mean having an affair is okay. If those who are religious aren't judging you, why judge them?