Anyone care to offer some support=)
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 12-20-2008 - 9:55pm |
Good evening everyone. I need to dialogue in a serious way. I need to speak with someone but there is no one! So I lean on you guys. The ones who understand.
Been in an A with AP1 for over 2 years. Love him with all my heart and soul. We've known eachother for 16 years. Started another A to help me deal with jealous feelings towards AP one talking to another woman. I ran into a big problem. I had no idea I would like AP2 so much or that it would even continue beyond one or two encounters. I had no idea that AP2 would like ME so much! He is hhhhhh-oootttt! lol! I thought he'd be more eye candy than anything. I was so wrong. This man is......gasp......affectionate! He tells me he misses me when we don't get to talk. He tells me he looks forward to talking to me. He initiates contact all the time. This is new to me. AP1, he THINKS he wears his emotions on his sleeve, but he does not. He is not super affectionate. I know he loves me and I know we have something special, but he just doesn't make me feel like I'm the one all the time.
Anyhow, they know about one another, but just the basics.....AP1 knows I have found someone else. And he has now been much more affectionate towards me. Which is all I ask for.
My problem is that I feel like a total whore. I have no idea why I feel compelled to be with three men! Two is bad enough, let alone three(I'm married)!!! I feel like I just quadrupled the chances of getting caught. I have always liked the power of getting a man to like me then being done with them. I just want to know that I have that power. But that is not really the case with these guys....
AP1 gives me an emotional connection I have not had with anyone else. We have always had it from day one of knowing one another. We have incredible sexual chemistry. Again, always have had it.
AP2....gives me the attention and ongoing affection that AP1 does not. AP2 But me and AP2 have ALOT of awkward silences. Could be because we are so new and still a little nervous.
I'm not sure that I had any direction with this....I just needed to share with people who understand....or are in a similar situation.

I'm afraid that there is nothing that I can offer you by way of advice, I am not in this situation.