Anyone else actually having fun?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
Anyone else actually having fun?
24
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 10:48am
So, I have been reading all the posts, and believe me, ladies (and men) I do feel your pain. I am new to this ride, but I can imagine that at times, it does get painful. But I'm just wondering.....is anyone else out there, whether in the early stages of an A, or in a long term A, having fun with their AP? I mean, forgive me if I sound callous, but.....isn't fun the whole point of an A?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 1:12pm

I have always enjoyed every second that I spend w/ AP. He is by far, the funniest person that I have ever met. I just completely loose time when I'm w/ him. It's so fulfilling that it seems like a dream sometimes......

How happy, or how much fun I have w/ AP was NEVER the issue. The problems come when he leaves and goes home to the W. That's were I'm having a hard time. I mean who would put up w/ all the bullsh*t if when you got to see your AP you didn't enjoy it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 2:09pm
...


Edited 11/6/2009 11:04 am ET by goblinqueen79
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 3:06pm

Happy? - Yes.


In Love? - Yes.


Working towards being together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 4:05pm

If defining fun is brief moments of incredible peace & happiness talking and being with someone that understands you and treats you better than anyone else ever has

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 4:06pm
I certainly didn't mean to sound flippant with the "fun" comment. I realize that a lot of the posters to these boards have an actual emotional attachment to their AP, and I completely respect that. The A I am involved in is not something that I sought out, but it has happened, and I am going into it with my eyes open and a locked heart. And with that in mind, in order to be able to walk away when I choose, without it hurting, I have promised myself that the second this A ceases to be fun (or when it stops being enjoyable), I am done. That's all I wanted to convey, and I was wondering if others out there on this ride feel the same way. I guess what I'm wanting to know sort of boils down to this: I have had a few (safe) sexual encounters with men that did not involve any real "feelings" other than friendship, and just because I slept with them didn't mean I automatically fell in love with them. So, isn't the same thing possible in an A? Enjoy the friendship, enjoy the sex, and when it's over, it's over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 5:49pm

you are welcome....one thing i vowed i wouldn't do or think, because i knew what i was getting myself into, was to beg my XAP to leave his wife for me..because i never want him to grow resentment for me or feel i am making demands or pushing him to do something...that was out of respect for him...i always knew he wouldn't leave her for me...the only thing i wanted was for him to make me feel special and treat me with dignity and respect and give me the time and attention i deserve..we knew it would be hard but i never thought it this hard..i felt like he could handle it all..my reactions to his empty promises, my reactions to him not being able to spend time with me like i want..but guess he can't..oh well...i sit today again very sad with a big knot in my stomach....but hopefully i'll be okay at some point..i'm just trying to weather the storm....not bother him or anything like that....


affairs aren't fun to me...i don't think that most of us on this board got into one for the fun of it..in my opinion they just happened...and once you are in it, it is hard to let go..whether you want to, have to or need to....i'm experiencing a lot of heartache right now..but i'm good...


to me there was never a good outweighs the bad type of thing..it just was what it was....and i dealt with it the best i knew how....THIS IS NO FUN to me at all...

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 6:09pm
hi, i guess as everyone knows around here by this time is that I am having fun.
~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 6:16pm
i agree completely with you.
~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 6:39pm

Tyyyyygeeeerrrrrrrrr!!!


Honey you said it perfectly here "i always knew he wouldn't leave her for me...the only thing i wanted was for him to make me feel special and treat me with dignity and respect and give me the time and attention i deserve"


If you are the OW, then there is NO dignity or respect in that and you will NEVER get what you truly deserve!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 7:13pm

My MM and I have been together for over 8 years. There have been bad times, but no awful times. We love and respect each other too much for that. He is my best friend, and I am his. Even sucky days like today, where we both had sucky personal issues, we still found time to laugh, and hold each other, as I cried on him.


Yes, Aland can be really hard, trust me, in the 22+ years of my marriage, I had more A's than I care to recall, so I have experienced every feeling out there, but, they are to me, (until this one)escapes from the pressures of real life.


I wouldn't trade a minute of my life with my MM.


mom