Anyone else ever think this?
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Anyone else ever think this?
| Sun, 08-17-2003 - 7:33pm |
Has anyone else in an A ever wished their H would have an A and ask for a D? Is this too nuts?
| Sun, 08-17-2003 - 7:33pm |
I know the hardest part about my dissolving marriage is that I steadfastly REFUSE to bring OM into this, because he's got a g/f, we work together (which, btw, isn't against any company policy for us to be together since we're at the same level of management, but it would still be wierd for others to know), etc. OM didn't sign on for any of that when he took up with me.
So that means I have to be honest to H about not loving him anymore, not being attracted to him anymore and other hurtful truths. It would be easier for us both - and save H a tremendous amount of pain, while allowing him to be the injured party and have others help him through his pain - if I could just toss up my hands and say I'm a b!tch, I'm having an affair, let me out of this.
Doing that is taking an awful lot of strength and determination. There's always the possibility I could cave and not walk, although I doubt it. But doing what I'm doing - being honest about the M and not telling about the A - is damned hard. It's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It would be so much easier if he had someone else, too, and we could just agree to split.
Lucky
Edited 9/22/2003 2:03:19 AM ET by lexylew
So many things you wrote are true for my situation. I, too, will never bring my OM into it. (He is single and we have a monogamous R.) Too many people know both of us - including several of his co-workers, Even though I know I should be honest with H about not loving him, etc., it would be very difficult for me to manage on my own economically. This probably sounds very strange, but we're w/in 10 years of retirement (EMAs have no age limits, I guess (nor do intense feelings)). And so I stay and have no physical contact w/H - we share a house and I'm civil, fix meals, do laundry, etc. and work part time. Believe me, I know what you mean about strength and determination and right now, I don't have them. I admire your strength and wish you the best. I'd appreciate any other thoughts you might have. Thank you so much for your very understanding reply.
Minni