anyone else have a LDR?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
anyone else have a LDR?
8
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 10:46am
I have met a man on Ashley Madison. Yes I actually went looking. I love my H very very much but no passion or lust. Ive been to many counselors and this is what it is. He had cheated on me years ago and other things happened that I believe have changed my life and how I feel about him.
I am not looking to have a PA anywhere near my hometown but I do have a vacation home that when there could see him. He seems so very genuine and nice. The fact that he has yet to talk sex or ask my bra size is a huge plus as you know how these guys can be! He has told me of his situation, single but has had GF for 3 years, basically live in. He wants one person who is real and he can enjoy time with. I too want that, an escape so to speak. What I am wondering is does anyone else have a LDR? How often do you see each other and can it work? He is willing to fly in whenever he can see me and says he thinks about me all the times that he loves my eyes and smile and I give him butterflies. I know to be careful and not be naive. BTDT. I dont think he is conning me because it would be an awfully expensive con. He can find someone closer to him and I am ten years older. Anyone have any stories or advice?
Thanks so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 11:29am

My AP live 85 miles away.

“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 5:51pm

My,


Been in LDR for 13 mos. It has actually worked out quite well. We take turns traveling for weekends and get together 1 a month. Currently on a little break with AP. What is Ashley Madison? Does it cost $$? How does itwork? I'll check it out later tonite on web. LDR's can work, let me know if any questions.


Adm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 9:26pm

Hi mysingleguy,


I decided to reply because you mention AM. Yes...that's where I met my AP too! Not just him but 2 others (short lived).


My current AP & I

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Wed, 05-20-2009 - 1:16pm
Thanks for the feedback. AM is a sight for attached people looking for affairs. I have seen a pic, heard his story, he seems genuinly nice and what I like best is he asks how I am, what I'm doing, always says how attracted to me he is and how much he lies talking with me. We've discussed sex in very limited round about ways. He knows I am not one to just jump into bed and want to take things slow. He feels the same way. He is very respectful and says he wants someone he can have fun with, a relationship where he can get to know a person and enjoy their company doing things together. So far, so good. We live about 8-10 hours away so the times we get to see each other will be few and far between but he seems ok with this. He understands my position and need to complete safety in not getting caught. How are you able to get away for weekends? What is your excuse? I could never get away with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Wed, 05-20-2009 - 1:25pm
Hi Goddess,
You can see most of my story above to AMD above but I am very cautious believe me. I do have a very good friend who knows and I trust with my life. Sinc by plane when I am there alone. This will not be until the fall so it gives me plenty of time to get to know him and I have already seen pictures of him and know some things about him. He says he does not want strictly sex and I believe that because he wouldn't have to look hundreds of miles away if that's all he wanted! He is very good looking and smart and funny so I do believe what he has told me so far although I know it can be dangerous and I am being careful.
I have had an AP that was closer to home and it was so much more stressful because he always wanted to see me and talk and I had a much bigger chance of getting caught (and I did three years ago).
Right now I like where it is and it is going because I feel like I have more control over it. If things don't go well for one reason or the other, I have nothing vested.
Thanks for answering my post and giving me some feedback. It is always appreciated!
My
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Wed, 05-20-2009 - 7:35pm

Hey my,


Thanks for the response. Looked on AM last night. My area looked like a bunch of sex addicts but we'll see, have to check further. Looking for friend to hang out with and maybe more. Not just looking for sex. As far as weekends, it is VERY hard to get away but we manage. We switch off so it's kind of like every 2-3 months.


For what it's worth, your man seems sincere. I am a male and his intentions seem genuine. I am looking for same things he is. You sound smart enough to be careful. Hope I meet someone on AM who is normal and just wants friends and then more.


Adm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Thu, 05-21-2009 - 12:50pm

Wow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Thu, 05-21-2009 - 9:06pm
I feel mine is getting a bit too clingy as well. Think he really likes me even though he hasn't met me but we talk on the phone every day. I have a very busy life and sometimes he'll ask to call when I'm watching my grandson and say no, feel he tries to push the issue and I don't like that. He does seem very genuine though. Think I am on the fence really about what I want. Sex with no feelings makes you feel used. Sex with too many feelings feels claustrophobic. Is there a happy medium? I don't want to feel like i have to answer to another man. I already have that. I don't want to feel like I have to do anything or be anywhere or available if I don't want. Do I sound confused? I probably am!