Anyone far more attractive than MM's W?
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| Mon, 04-05-2004 - 6:41pm |
I have had the opportunity to meet and hang out with MM's wife on several occasions. Now, I'm being extremely mean here (I'm NOT like this in real life), but she's definitely not the most attractive person in the world. Overweight despite never having kids, a not-so-pretty face, strange body shape, shorter not so great hair. I'm not a model, but I've stayed lean my whole life, nice hair, pretty good looking. I've been told my butt is ideal. :)
However, MM's wife is the NICEST person in the world. Very much of a sweetheart. She does everything for MM.
I'm a pretty nice woman, too, but I'd never wait on him hand and foot quite like she does. So I feel pretty rotten about that. But at the same time, I really can't blame MM for seeking some lovin' outside his marriage.
For me, it makes it so I really have NO jealousy about MM's wife at all.

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I think we tend to look for qualities that we are missing in a R with the other person. I will have kinky sex, while he says his wife would never even think to give him a BJ. But she will cook and clean and iron his clothes for him each an every day. I wouldn't do that unless he made a lot more money than me so I could focus less on my career.
Sometimes, I think it would be nice if we could just all get along! I often think it sure would be nice to have a wife, LOL. I don't get jealous of her at all, but of course I would never expect her to be happy with me in his life. Not that polygamy is the answer, LOL, because then I'd want to be with another man, too. Which is funny, because my H is a very handy, fix-it kind of guy, where MM is not. I guess that is what we have, though everything is secret.
He probably couldn't do without his wife. He probably is blind to the way she looks and sees her as beautiful. He really has a bond to her.
With you, it would only be a sexual adventure. He may say he is in love with you, but 'being in love' doesn't last. The euphoria goes with time. Another woman might come along to replace you before you want to be replaced.
In the end, you will only be second best and someone to be used for his pleasure and time. He will lose nothing, you will do all the sacrificing.
You make it sound like an either-or proposition. If you are good-looking, you cannot be a nice, smart, compassionate person. I merely said I would not wait on him hand-and-foot like she does. However, he and I can talk about politics, work, TV shows and movies he says his wife "doesn't get", among many other things. I've helped him through some terrible times this last month, listening to all his problems and helping him see the light past them. Our relationship most definitely is not limited to just sex.
I know I sound very conceited in my post saying that I'm a lot better looking than his W. But that's only because this is a message board. I'd never remotely say anything like that in real life. I'm hashing out my most intimate feelings that I could never share with real-life friends.
I wanted to find out if others were in the same position. I wanted to know how it affected the dynamic of the relaitonship. I noticed a lot of people on here seem jealous of the time their MM spends with his W. I have almost zero jealousy about her.
I myself am not bad looking, and my MM tells me that I'm pretty/beautiful, which is nice to hear. But I must admit to feeling jealous on occasion. Jealous more in the fact that she gets to sleep with him every night, jealous that she gets to spend time with him, jealous that she's the one who is M to him and had his children. (yes as hokey as it sounds, I would have loved to have had his babies, haha). But that's part of the package I guess that comes from being involved in an affair. What I do get from him is wonderful, and emotionally fulfilling and something I don't get from my needy H. Just my thoughts...good thread MSG9, it certainly makes one think.
Virgogirl
From what he has told me this is what I invision:
she's taller than me by about 6" we have the same hair color but hers is longer than mine -
She's thin, smaller boobs than me, big butt (bigger than mine)-
Well that's about all I can invision...thankfully LOL
Kikki
of course it affects things -
I tell him that I sometimes want a thank you card from her for all the times I have reversed his bad mood...
or calmed him down when she's set him off
I get jealous sometimes...when she has him there all the time
It effects us in ways because she will call and he will have to go - or it puts a little pause in an otherwise pleasant afternoon, evening or what-have-ya
She once crashed her car while we were out...she was fine -
But he began yelling at her and I put a stop to that right away -
So it effects things at times -- I explain to him how women work and he thanks me for it usually - but for the most part I try to keep that part of his life seperate
Kikki
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