Anyone far more attractive than MM's W?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Anyone far more attractive than MM's W?
26
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 6:41pm
..And how does it affect the dynamic of your relationship?

I have had the opportunity to meet and hang out with MM's wife on several occasions. Now, I'm being extremely mean here (I'm NOT like this in real life), but she's definitely not the most attractive person in the world. Overweight despite never having kids, a not-so-pretty face, strange body shape, shorter not so great hair. I'm not a model, but I've stayed lean my whole life, nice hair, pretty good looking. I've been told my butt is ideal. :)

However, MM's wife is the NICEST person in the world. Very much of a sweetheart. She does everything for MM.

I'm a pretty nice woman, too, but I'd never wait on him hand and foot quite like she does. So I feel pretty rotten about that. But at the same time, I really can't blame MM for seeking some lovin' outside his marriage.

For me, it makes it so I really have NO jealousy about MM's wife at all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 5:57pm
Hey nomo, I love you girl!! You know that, right???? I don't have anything against in being a trophy OW as long as you don't rub it in the other people's face, esp the wife. I were the MW with a MM, I will never call her ugly or fat. Its too bad you are sleeping her husband its even worse to gloat about it. I will be too guilty to say a word like that. I know you don't do it and other MW's like Sweet with MM don't do it. That is I like you all - you have no issues...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 7:02pm
In a perfect world, looks wouldn't matter at all.

But they do. Personality OF COURSE is the real litmus test on whether a relationship can be sincere and long-lasting. But you cannot say that physical attraction does not matter at all. I mean, come on, be honest.

And we never discuss the OW's looks. Ever. I would never, ever say that I think she's ugly to him or to her.

It affects the dynamic in SUBTLE and INDIRECT ways, not obvious ways. He never says I'm more beautiful than his wife, or anything that blatant. But, for example, I think OW's self-esteem regarding her looks is low because it has affected their sex life. He says sex with them is just like a duty, just roll over and do it. She puts no passion into it. If she doesn't like the way she looks, that's going to affect her personality in bed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 7:42pm
This imperfect world creates its own problem just because it thinks looks are paramount. Look at my daughter, somebody told her she is not as fair skinned than them (a child of her own age). Why is that skin color matters so much when we compare people? My daugher is good looking by any standards and does need any body who is fair skinned to make her feel inadequate. That is why you never compare. Looks might matter but please dont't compare. Life is not a beauty contest..


About feeling good in bed, its mostly confidence not a matter or beauty. THe more confident you are more active in bed. JMHO

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 8:13pm
I would never judge a person on their looks! I won't even bother being friends with someone who does ! I have been told I am beautiful, but you have got to learn to see people from the inside out ! Sure some are great to look at. But then you get to know them and they turn ugly right before your eyes!!! I would not!, could not!, love a man that did not look inside a person to get to know them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 9:25am
Secret, in real life looks matter, only to some extent. Its not everything. Even if you are in a sex only A, you really don't have to be a beauty queen.

To be confident in bed doesn't take to be a VS model. It takes willingness to have sex, trying to alleviate boredom in the bedroom by trying out new things and trying to understand your partners needs. The MM/OM did fall in love with the W/GF at one point and did enjoy making love to her body - lets not forget that. JMHO

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 10:58am
I would not be friends with somebody who is friend's with me just for my looks. I have told my daughter that nobody should be saying such things to her. But you know how impressionable young children are and they also get pulled into peer pressure at her age. I have seen too many good looking selfsih and dumb people that I don't really care about at all. I don't suffere fools and selfish people gladly.

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