Anyone happy in their A?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Anyone happy in their A?
26
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 4:05pm
I am just wondering if there is anyone happy in their affair?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 4:10pm
I think it is very difficult for us all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 4:16pm
Yes algirl you are right, just being on these boards makes you see how difficult it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 4:20pm
I think they can handle it much better then we can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 4:56pm

I would say I'm happy in my A. It took a lot of time to get that way, mainly because at first I was convinced there had to be a "Happy Ever After" to the story. I was also very needy and because I wasn't working at the time, I had too much time on my hands to overanalyze everything.


The best thing, I think, to help you cope with all the turmoil of emotions, is to not lose yourself. Keep enjoying the things you did before. Take some alone time. Try not to become obsessed.


The only thing I'm unhappy about is my M. That's something I need to work on, or get out of.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 6:02pm

I am extremely happy thanks to my A.


My M is very shaky and AP makes me feel that I am "lovable" and don't need to change a thing about myself. He loves me as I am. I am so not perfect, but he is not either.


My DH is a very good guy, but we are no longer in love. We stick it out for the kids and because we are comfortable together. We have recently talked about separating and sometimes it seems like it's the best option. I don't know.


I do know AP makes me very happy. Now keep in mind this is this week. Next week... who knows? he might get very busy at work and I might get a very relaxed week at my work and then I tend to expect more than he can give.


Only time will tell, but right now, yes, I love him and I am very happy in my A. Just had lunch together today, so it's all good. If you had asked this question last week, when I was extremely frustrated because his boss was in town, then I might have answered differently. Still loving him, but maybe not as totally happy.


It's a rollercoaster still... more ups than in the begining and the lows are not quite as low anymore, but still on the ride.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 6:06pm
Wow. You completely described me with your post! I swear I could have written it word for word! It is good to know that it can be worked through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 6:32pm

At this moment in time yes...there are moments when I am unhappy because we can not be together and that makes me sad but thats the nature of A's.

But at this moment...everythings going brillient were close again and everythings flowing....

So yes I am happy in my A at the moment!!

LT


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 7:26pm

I woul have to say for the most part I am happy in my A. I do admit that I have ups and downs pretty much EVERY DAY, but, I think alot of the "downs" I create in my own head (by imagining stuff that's not even happening between AP and his W for example).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 11:53pm

I am happy in my A...it took a lot of work, patients, and communicating to get on the same page and fully understand where we were both coming from. It is easier for me and harder for me at the same time because early into the A I left now ex-H. So I have more freedom and more lonely nights. AP and I were not looking for each other and have struggled through the guilt and hardship of being in love with someone you are not married to, but we have also had a lot of time to enjoy the greatness of having someone really see and care for you as a person. I have put a cap on the A though, I have told him he gets two years to figure out if he will leave his W or we end it. I love this man, but at the same time I refuse to be a lifetime SECRET girlfriend. Once boundaries were in place we were good :)

good luck to you and I just want to say if you are unhappy its not worth it!

A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 4:49am

I'm happy in my A.

Edwina

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