Anyone here NOT jealous of W?

Avatar for jennlynnk
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Registered: 04-03-2003
Anyone here NOT jealous of W?
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Wed, 11-12-2003 - 11:48am
Is there anyone here not jealous of MM's W?? Heck, when it comes to sex, the fact that he's married TURNS ME ON! i knew i was going into an A with a MM... i knew he wasn't looking to spend ALL his time with me, i knew he'd have to leave at the end of the night.

Anyway... i'm not jealous of his W. i knew he was a MM when we started this. i have met her, and his kid. They are pretty cool. He's known her since i was six. How can i be jealous of that?? i mean, even when he's done fence sitting if he were to actually end up wtih me, i still wouldn't care if he was pretty close with her. You can't just brush off knowing someone for that long, no matter how it "ends up".

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anonymous user
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 12:08pm
No I don't feel jealous of MM's W just as he doesn't about my H. To be honest it make's me feel pretty good knowing I turn him on and his W doesn't. He's told me he just doesn't fancy her anymore, so sex between them is a very rare occassion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 12:11pm
hey jennlynn -- i am definitely NOT jealous of MM's W. i actually have the best part of him - the sex!! and his attention is all on me when we're together. he's not thinking about work, or the house, or what needs to be done, nor am i thinking about work, the house, the laundry, whatever!

MM is on his third M and really wants to make this one work. he doesn't want to lose everything if he divorces again and MM is getting closer and closer to retiring. i understand all that and what MM wants and needs. i'm fine with providing the fun and games. his W gets all the serious stuff.

frankly, i'm not sure i would want MM full-time.

gurl

Avatar for nomoreregrets
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 12:22pm
Nope, not jealous at all! MM's W is a Great woman! I agree with you gurl, don't think I'd want MM full time. Hell, my H is full time enough:)NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 12:48pm
nomo, that's what i'm saying! BF is full-time enough! and he's trained just the way i like him.

MM would take way too much effort to get him straight. and i just can't see myself starting over on a full-time relationship at this point in my life. i'm just too old to change!!

gurl

Avatar for jennlynnk
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Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 12:52pm
Well, i do want MM full time, but i am still not "jealous" of his W or what they have together. Maybe i feel it's so different then our relationship that there's nothing to be jealous of, it's like comparing apples to oranges. i don't know. He doesn't hate her, even if he ended up with me, she'll always be in his life and a HUGE part of his past. i guess it just doesn't seem too healthy to be jealous of that.

just rambling!! i'm glad i am not the only one who feels this way!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:37pm
No, not jealous. I am occasionally envious of their time together and the fact that she gets to share in his financial success and I don't, but that's petty envy, not jealousy (not a nice thing - I try hard not to indulge in it). It helps that I am married, of course. OM is not jealous of my husband, either, though he says he'd trade places with him in a heartbeat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:49pm
I'm good friends with my OM's wife and when I hear the wonderful things she has to say about her husband, like how great the sex was when he took her away for her birthday. It can be a little tough on me. She's an incredible woman, pretty, successful, very self-assured. Her only downfall is that she is married to a cheater and has a me for a friend. How weird!?
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Registered: 02-12-2002
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 2:17pm
I'm not in that position, fortunately. I do know her, and I see her at least once a week, but she is not my friend. She has good qualities, such as a stubborn sort of loyalty to her family and a willingness to do lots of things for the people she loves, but she has a prickly personality in general. Apparently I make her uncomfortable for a variety of reasons that have to do with her own insecurities (*nothing* like flirting with her husband or anything like that!!!), so she is not very nice to me - sometimes not even polite. But I deal with it since I love OM, and he loves her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 5:21pm

Hi jenn,


I too am not jealous of MM's wife... just as he isn't jealous of DH.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 9:02pm
Hi Jenn,

Nope, not jealous here either. Oh, I was a couple times earlier in the relationship, but I knew a condition of our relationship was that he was/is/will be married. And, I've known W and children as long as I've known him, and can appreciate her good qualities.

So, I don't have a problem with the weekends or holidays when he is with his family. I know he appreciates I respect that aspect of *his* life, just as I respect that he makes the conscious effort to keep it seperate.

Sure, I would love to be able to have an open relationship with MM (I'm seperated, D will be final in near future), but I wouldn't be ready to co-habitate, lol. I'd even go so far as to say MM should consider dating (twist knife) *if* he were to seperate or divorce, for both our sakes (and then, I'm sure I would be very jealous).

You are right about the close relationship, especially with children involved - it is important to maintain as good a relationship as possible with the other parent. I know that first hand with stbxH - though I find it difficult to remain civil with him (stbxH)and could easily brush off knowing him for 20+ years if it weren't for the children. Still, I'm learning and it is a reminder to me what I do not want in a relationship (gotta remain positive, lol).

I know MM is not looking for a replacement W, any more than I would want to be a replacement W at this point.

LOL, can this really be healthy?

Meow

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