Anyone know a Love Addict?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Anyone know a Love Addict?
4
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 12:10pm

Hey-


Anyone know a Love Addict. Never knew what one was until I googled it. A Love Addict is someone who is basically addicted to the feeling of BEING in love. Its not sex but love. They search for relationships and then find a person and put that person on the highest pedestal. They worship them become obsessed with them and their entire life and happiness is tied to them. Then after the high is over they move on to someone else. Dating one and it is not fun. She cheated on me and im guessing moving on to next high. Beware of this type. Anybody know one? Google it if you want to know more.


Amexdm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 12:46pm

Elizabeth Taylor was one. Wouldn't be surprised if Angelina Jolie is one. Anyone who seems to fall out of love about two years after they fall IN love, and then moves on to the next person, is probably one. Most of them won't recognize it, even if it's pointed out to them. They will continue to think that they just "don't love" that person anymore.

Falling in love - infatuation - produces fantastic chemicals in our bodies!! We're full of energy, we feel healthy and strong and have lots of motivation to do new things and explore new places with our loved one - we usually lose our appetite and lose weight too - without even trying! OH if we could bottle it and sell it, I'd be the first in line. I can see why it would be addictive. Even the psychological aspect - first attracting this new love interest, all the exciting steps along the way until you feel that you're in love with them and they confess the same to you - how ecstatic that feels! The high lasts anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. After that it wanes, even if you do love the person - it just never gives you the same thrills and chills and chemicals that it gave you during that stage. Some people view this as falling out of love. But real love will continue - that feeling that your partner is part of you, and the love that makes you put their welfare ahead of your own - true love lasts beyond chemicals.

If we look around in our lives we probably know some love addicts.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 2:03pm

Yep 6mos-2 yrs.


We have been together 22 months. I just think that people who do this in multiple relationships have a problem. They actually have 12 steps for Love Addicts. Seems to be the same with Jobs. get bored after 2 years too. I dont think people would ever admit it either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 4:18pm
Know one? I am one! And it's not neccessarily that I want him to be in love with me. I want that feeling that I'm loved. Also, the sex isn't even that much of it, it's more of the intimate feeling of being that close to someone, feeling wanted and desired. It's very weird. And, I'm not in love with him. I just feel like I need him for some reason. It's very much like a drug addiction. I get physical withdrawal symptoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 8:27pm
I too believe I am one. I started daydreaming about boys as early as junior high and whatever boy I liked I obsessed and fantasized about. It has never changed, even through out my 20+ years marriage. I have always had a man to daydream about. It always consumed me 24/7. Once I found out my H cheated, I started cheating myself. I believed it was due to the hurt and anger of the infidelity but all it was was a green light to seek out partners to make me feel good. The sex is like a drug. Being with another person who is new gives me a high to think about 24/7. If I let it, it could take over my life. Over the years, I have learned to handle it better and live a more productive life but it still hinders me and it still is something I seek every three years or so.
I have no illusions where this stems from-my childhood. I had a very negligent mother who wanted nothing to do with motherhood. She would buy things to keep us busy and make us happy but let it be known she hated being a mother. She was severely depressed as well and my father looked the other way while we were verbally and emotionally abused. I know I need help but don't know where to look and am afraid to go to counseling (although been to marriage counseling many times) as it will make my husband suspicious. I do hate living this way and wish I could make the feelings go away. I used to think having the affairs were my escape from reality. Now I have no idea what I am looking for, if it is escape, love or both???!! I know I have to stop and it isn't like I am not in control. I CHOOSE to have these as they give me a high and make me feel good (although after awhile they do not). I'd give anything to stop it and find happiness without looking outside the marriage for fulfillment.
I am currently having a FB with a SG and meeting a MM from AM since the SG is inconsistent and inconsiderate. Luckily I am only attracted to him but have no real deep feelings for him. He pisses me off more than makes me happy. Why bother?