AP in a coma, please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
AP in a coma, please help!
16
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 7:50pm

I have not been to MAS in a long time but I really need everyones help, advice and prayers.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 8:06pm

Hugs to you. That is a horrible place to be in and I am so sorry about your AP. I think it is one of the worst fears of anyone in an A. Except that many of us might never get to know.

I don't know what advice to give you, they are all very hard choices. You will have to decide whether to follow your head, which I think is telling you to stay away right now, or your heart, which is telling you to go to him. You need to weigh very carefully any choices to go to him against the further damage that it might cause to him and his family as well as to yourself. You have to consider what is the best thing for him right now too, not just yourself. You say you love him and he is your soulmate-then you have to consider what is best for him first. I wish you strength to get through this whatever the outcome and my prayers for your AP's recovery.

Pisces


image


pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 9:52pm
Since you have met the parents, can you stop in as a friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 10:24pm

I don't think that there would be anyway for me to casually go as a friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 1:31am
Dear Cowgirl,
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 4:39am

Sorry to hear this and I hope he recovers very soon. I know you want to be there for him, understand the need, but honestly that would be selfish and would be no good for anyone but you. Given the situation I don't think it's a good idea to risk jeopardising his relationship with his family, especially at this time. It has to be his decision to 'out' the relationship in his own way, in his time. Not to mention, if you hope for a life with him do you really want to risk antagonising his parents at a time that has to be agonisingly emotional time for them?


I know it would be the romantic thing to rush to be by his side but I don't think that's the practical thing for now.


Hoping you can give us news of his recovery very soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 6:26am

Cowgirl,


prayers to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 7:48am

Cowgirl,


I agree with Itsjustafantasy.


I'm a nurse, and it's not what you see on TV.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 10:34am

Sorry about what you are going through.


I do not think it would be wise to "Out" anything. He is not able to make that decision for himself and

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 12:25pm
my thoughts and prayers are with you. god bless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 12:41pm

I agree with others who said that it's not like you see it on TV. He is in coma, connected to a breathing machine, with a tube in every orifice of his body, he may be agitated and incontinent. It is very difficult to see your loved one like that. He won't be able to recognize you and won't remember you being there. As much as you want to be there and hold his hand, think of an impact it might have. I agree with PP, his family may see it as completely inappropriate and may even request you're not being allowed to visit him anymore. Please wait until he is out of coma, at least then you can call and ask if it's ok for you to visit.

(((Hugs)))

Vivacious

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