Is AP jealous or possessive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Is AP jealous or possessive?
12
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 7:12pm

I have always been wondering if

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 9:39pm
Though I suspect he'd rather cut out his own tongue than admit to it, there have been times when AP has said something that absolutely smacked of jealousy.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 4:50pm

Hi Freedom,


My AP shows little signs of jealousy here and there. He also would ask me if I were intimate with my H and it got to

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 5:25pm

Anotherseyes has touched on what I think the jealousy is - even in a romantic relationship, jealousy stems from possessiveness and a little insecurity. It's absolutely normal. If you have deep feelings, it's going to be worse, unless you are completely sure that the other person is totally into you. Then it doesn't bother you so much LOL.

Men have sexual jealousy that seems encoded in their DNA. I personally like a LITTLE jealousy shown, but hate a full blown jealous fit. My dad was fanatically jealous - the kind of guy that thinks every single man on the planet is after his woman and wouldn't allow my mom to let any man in the house when he wasn't there - even her brothers-in-law, or my sister's boyfriend, or the paperboy! She had to account for every second she was away from the house. I must have sworn to myself at a young age that I wouldn't live in that sort of prison because any time a guy showed too much jealousy I would back WAY off.

But a little jealousy seems to show that there's some sort of caring there, so I like that. My OM shows just a tad from time to time and I think he hides it a lot of the rest of the time. I also show it if he's interested in dating someone, which doesn't happen too often!

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 6:20pm

Hi Rayne,


I saw my AP 2 days ago, and again he tried to ask me some questions about my intimate life with my H. I told him that I cannot understand why would he want to know

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 9:10am

Yeah its wierd. He hates it when I ask about him having sex with is partner- says 'why would you want to know such things- surely it makes you uncomfortable' but then asks quite often about me and my H.


I always lie and say we havent because

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 12:36pm

Yes, my AP is definitely jealous. Although, when we first got together and I was still M...he wasn't. That all changed when I left my H and effectively became a SW...he's had some pretty bad jealous fits, all uncalled for may I say!

It's mind boggling to me because he's still M, and I don't pull that crap about he and his W....I do find it somewhat flattering sometimes though. Not to be full of myself or anything but I'm a fairly attractive woman, I still have a great figure for my age, and there are many of my men friends who I know would like to "date" me....and so does he. It's good for him to feel a little healthy competition at times though, IMO.

We haven't had a problem like that lately, thank goodness. It's a bit ridiculous since I left my M because I'm so in love with him, and he's fully aware of that. Men are curious creatures, and I thought women were complicated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 1:45pm
My AP call me once a day and he
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 5:50pm
Yesterday AP asked me again when was the last time I had sex with my H. I have never lied to him before and didn't want to do it yesterday, so I told him that I had it
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 8:40pm
Yikes. I can understand why this makes you feel uncomfortable! Men have a sexual jealousy that is quite natural. Women have it too but I really think it's stronger in men. They can be having sex with more than one woman, but it seems like they still want all their sexual partners to themselves! And an "alpha male" type will find sharing a sexual partner REALLY difficult. You can talk to him, and he might think he can be "better" about it, but jealousy is one of those primal emotions that just grabs hold of you without your permission! Some men just can't control it, honestly. I'm not sure what you OR he can really do about it. You're wise not to talk about having sex with your H anymore. Just tell him that topic is off limits. Of course, then he might think, every time you remind him of that, that it means you DID have sex with your H and it will still set off the whole ugly business. It's a hard spto to be in freedom. Not sure how to guide you.

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 9:05pm

Just a quick physiology lesson :)

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