I did put AP before my kids and to tell you the truth, i would do it again. My DD were with H and they all went to do something but i didn't go. i made an excuse to stay home and meet AP after they left. Guilty. NOPE! i have needs too and since AP and i can only see each other when we can fit it in .... well then thats what we have to do. As long as my kids are taken care of and i am not abandoning them somewhere or just dumping them off on someone then if it comes to them or AP... AP will win. as for being a bad parent well i guess i am the worst huh?? I put up with an now ex for 15 years.. 15 years of abuse and now 7 with an H who ignores me and tells me he hates me on a daily basis. If i don't make my own happyness then who will?? AP fills the void in my life and i will do anything to be with him when ever i can. its the only time i am happy and content
Since your daughter lives with her dad, I'm assuming you don't get to see her all that often during the school year. Every other weekend maybe? What will you do if she assumes that she's going to be staying with you that night, and is all excited about a "girl's night" with her mom at the hotel? How will you explain that she can't come? I would find it hard to get out of that one without hurting my child's feelings, so I probably wouldn't opt out of that.
Other situations are different. Opting out of a family outing, where everyone will still have a good time without me, is acceptable - heck, I opt out of family outings at times for just normal reasons like being tired or wanting to get in exercise (get your minds out of the gutter - NORMAL exercise LOL), etc. I don't like amusement parks and the money is wasted on me so those are things the rest of the family goes to, that sort of thing is normal. But a special night out with my child is different, I would find it hard to opt out of that!
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
Have you ever put your AP before your family/kids?
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
Since your daughter lives with her dad, I'm assuming you don't get to see her all that often during the school year. Every other weekend maybe? What will you do if she assumes that she's going to be staying with you that night, and is all excited about a "girl's night" with her mom at the hotel? How will you explain that she can't come? I would find it hard to get out of that one without hurting my child's feelings, so I probably wouldn't opt out of that.
Other situations are different. Opting out of a family outing, where everyone will still have a good time without me, is acceptable - heck, I opt out of family outings at times for just normal reasons like being tired or wanting to get in exercise (get your minds out of the gutter - NORMAL exercise LOL), etc. I don't like amusement parks and the money is wasted on me so those are things the rest of the family goes to, that sort of thing is normal. But a special night out with my child is different, I would find it hard to opt out of that!
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
If you are a single, non custodial parent, you should have plenty of free time for your AP.