AP wants to meet my husband and kids!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2010
AP wants to meet my husband and kids!
38
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 5:02pm

Hi,


Fairly new here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 6:20pm

To me, this screams all kinds of wrong.

AP and I keep everything VERY separate and things aren't that hot and heavy with us. He has an idea of where I live and I have an idea of where he lives (as in we know what exit of the freeway we each live, he knows which neighborhood I'm in, but my neighborhood has over 1000 homes) but beyond that we haven't a clue. He doesn't know H's name and I don't know his SO's name. He knows I have children, doesn't know anything about them though. We know the details, but not the more in depth details.

I would be very hesitant to letting them get together, especially if he really wants you to leave your H. I think you are really pushing the lines if you do. While I suppose it works for some, especially if they were friends first, I don't think it is a situation that works well for all. I know for a fact I would not want to see AP in his everyday relationship with his SO, nor would he want to see me in my everyday relationship with H. Because when it comes down to it, no matter one says how much it won't bother them, the reality is it will.

I think these are things everyone needs to talk over and discuss when you are in an A. There are limits and restrictions on things or at least in my eyes there are. I feel safer with the limits and restrictions and it makes me able to separate this double life. I don't think I'd ever invite AP and his SO to anything, nor would he me and H.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:13pm
I agree with Simplie. KIS - keep it simple. It's too dangerous. What if your H noticed a look - or worse - one of your kids could feel "something" but didn't know what? Kids can be really intuitive and can get highly messed up when they feel like there are "secrets". Tell your AP to find someone else for the tickets.

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 2:46am

Oh dont do it!!!


Apart from the great arguments above- give you H some dignity. To be 'invited' somewhere so the man who is doing his wife can ogle him- that just stinks!


Tell your AP to satisfy his curiousity elsewhere- your H is not what this A is about!


Sorry for the tough-love but Im a MW also, and while Im obviously cheating on my H, I will not let my AP talk about him, laugh at his expense or in any way degrade him.


Iggyx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:39am

I agree with the other posters, NOT a good idea at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 12:13pm

Hmm...I agree it would be a bad idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:57pm

Hello nevereasy,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:01pm

Yes, you are exactly right - -he wants to see me interact with my children, he wants to be with me in public even if that means my family is with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:04pm

Getting the kids involved just screamed out bad mother and you basically slapped your husband in the face by doing this...its bad enough that you that you are

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:12pm

Littledreamer,


Oh HECK NO!!! I'm sure your AP is curious about H as we all are and vice versa.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:21pm
Too late...she already did it.... *SIGH*

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