Little dreamer I know this is a support site, but I think you made a big mistake here.
By treating your H and kids like this - putting then on display for your AP- regardless of how you 'justify' it- is pretty low. Im really surprised and very disappointed.
Sorry, I wont be responding to you anymore. I cant relate to you or this decision at all.
well, here you are little.. what's done is done.. so, where do you from here?..
you have mixed emotions now, and that's typical... however, i think all this will slowly come down crashing.. the bad will outweigh the good, you will face a D Day, and face to stand to lose all you now have..
there is something inside you that is making all this possible. And I think, unless you find what brings you to the precipice like this, and how you can stop it, just wishing it to stop or feeling bad about it won't help..
like the other posters have said, not much i can say about all you are involved with.. other than that there seems only bad things to happen to you and your loved ones in the future, and you are the only one who can protect your family from all this..
ITA. I really think you are pushing the limits of this and the shan is gonna hit the fit very soon. VERY SOON. This isn't something you can mix well together. JMVHO, but it's pretty low you subjected your husband and kids to that.
Honestly, I think you can only learn from this. As I said before - restrictions are necessary. You need to protect yourself. You are in a situation that you have to keep secret. What if AP had decided he didn't really like your H? Then what? What is stopping AP from contacting H? If AP really wants you that bad - and wants you to leave your H - will he go to the lengths to get what he wants? Having them commingle seems to allow that to happen.
I think we all know we are wrongdoers. Some take it to other levels. Right now you are pushing your boundaries - bad. You need to slow down, analyze a bit, and really think over what would happen if you continue to push these boundaries and H finds out. Because the way you are acting (and I'm not knocking you) that is going to happen. When you become so engulfed in the A you let your guard down. You allow yourself to be careless.
No, none of us are perfect. No one is. We can't tell you what to do. We can only advise you to slow things down. Separate the two lives, because that is the only way you will continue to be safe in this situation. If I were you I'd take a long hard look at what I did, then fix how I reacted/acted.
(HUGS) This isn't an easy situation, but A's aren't. You need to think clearly - not in A fog.
Im the one who said I wouldnt respond further, but after reading what you said, I just need to clarify something.
Yes I am a wrongdoer- all of us here are.
The reason I have such a strong feeling of disgust over what you did is that you, me, other MASers and our APs are al willing consentual adults in the wrong we are doing.
I think littledreamer has a point. We are all in an affair. Although I disagree with her decision (and told her not to do it), it won't make me withdraw support or stop posting to her. We have all sorts of A's here, including A's with best friend's H's or even H's brother, and I didn't see this level of harshness to those people. What about those whose APs are already involved with one's family - children's sport's coaches, etc. We still supported them. I know dreamer purposely brought her family around to her AP and it was wrong and a poor decision, but she wasn't thinking of it as subjecting them to ridicule. It's natural to want to see the AP interact with children or as a family unit. Yes the natural curiosity should be squelched.
If one reads the BS board, it causes great pain when the BS realizes that the OW or OM has socially interacted with them during the A. They think back and think that the OP must have been laughing their a$$ off at them in their head during the interaction. They feel ridiculed. That's probably the furthest thing that the OP was feeling, but that's what they imagine. Just the fact that this could someday come down hard on one's spouse is reason enough to stop it from happening.
But it's not reason enough to eject someone from here.
We all can decide who to post to and who NOT to post to, of course. We all have our standards. And good points were made about WHY it was so wrong to do this.
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Pages
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
Yep...see below...
VERY awkward Saturday night as I accepted the tickets and went to the game with him.
after H goes to sleep, I meet up with AP in the middle of the night, and come home at 3:30 am.
Little dreamer I know this is a support site, but I think you made a big mistake here.
By treating your H and kids like this - putting then on display for your AP- regardless of how you 'justify' it- is pretty low. Im really surprised and very disappointed.
Sorry, I wont be responding to you anymore. I cant relate to you or this decision at all.
well, here you are little.. what's done is done.. so, where do you from here?..
you have mixed emotions now, and that's typical... however, i think all this will slowly come down crashing.. the bad will outweigh the good, you will face a D Day, and face to stand to lose all you now have..
there is something inside you that is making all this possible. And I think, unless you find what brings you to the precipice like this, and how you can stop it, just wishing it to stop or feeling bad about it won't help..
like the other posters have said, not much i can say about all you are involved with.. other than that there seems only bad things to happen to you and your loved ones in the future, and you are the only one who can protect your family from all this..
will you?
do keep us posted.. do continue sharing..
--
Honestly, I think you can only learn from this. As I said before - restrictions are necessary. You need to protect yourself. You are in a situation that you have to keep secret. What if AP had decided he didn't really like your H? Then what? What is stopping AP from contacting H? If AP really wants you that bad - and wants you to leave your H - will he go to the lengths to get what he wants? Having them commingle seems to allow that to happen.
I think we all know we are wrongdoers. Some take it to other levels. Right now you are pushing your boundaries - bad. You need to slow down, analyze a bit, and really think over what would happen if you continue to push these boundaries and H finds out. Because the way you are acting (and I'm not knocking you) that is going to happen. When you become so engulfed in the A you let your guard down. You allow yourself to be careless.
No, none of us are perfect. No one is. We can't tell you what to do. We can only advise you to slow things down. Separate the two lives, because that is the only way you will continue to be safe in this situation. If I were you I'd take a long hard look at what I did, then fix how I reacted/acted.
(HUGS) This isn't an easy situation, but A's aren't. You need to think clearly - not in A fog.
Dreamer
Im the one who said I wouldnt respond further, but after reading what you said, I just need to clarify something.
Yes I am a wrongdoer- all of us here are.
The reason I have such a strong feeling of disgust over what you did is that you, me, other MASers and our APs are al willing consentual adults in the wrong we are doing.
YOUR HUSBAND,
I think littledreamer has a point. We are all in an affair. Although I disagree with her decision (and told her not to do it), it won't make me withdraw support or stop posting to her. We have all sorts of A's here, including A's with best friend's H's or even H's brother, and I didn't see this level of harshness to those people. What about those whose APs are already involved with one's family - children's sport's coaches, etc. We still supported them. I know dreamer purposely brought her family around to her AP and it was wrong and a poor decision, but she wasn't thinking of it as subjecting them to ridicule. It's natural to want to see the AP interact with children or as a family unit. Yes the natural curiosity should be squelched.
If one reads the BS board, it causes great pain when the BS realizes that the OW or OM has socially interacted with them during the A. They think back and think that the OP must have been laughing their a$$ off at them in their head during the interaction. They feel ridiculed. That's probably the furthest thing that the OP was feeling, but that's what they imagine. Just the fact that this could someday come down hard on one's spouse is reason enough to stop it from happening.
But it's not reason enough to eject someone from here.
We all can decide who to post to and who NOT to post to, of course. We all have our standards. And good points were made about WHY it was so wrong to do this.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Pages