Yes you made a poor decision. Just make sure that you learn from this and never allow interaction again, if you can help it. No barbecues etc.! Unfortunately, having an A with your AP has made it so you can never have him be a "family friend". Would have been possible before the A, but not now.
As for the sneaking out at night to meet your AP - very risky behavior. It's hard to think through things when we're infatuated, and those of us in A's already are shown to be poor decision makers and easy risk takers, but you have to weigh the level of risk with the benefits. If you subconsciously want a d-day, this will get your subconscious what it wants! Slow down sweetie, try to think about what you're doing.
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
I just keep thinking of your poor children when they find out that you flaunted them in front of your AP for his amusement. And it's not if but when they find out. those babies deserve better!!!!
I don't think the children will know if she either keeps AP away or end it all together. I think she won't have him around H or the kids any more now that's she's thought better of the entire situation.
I think it was a GREAT idea having your AP host you and your "family" at an outing! For starters, those who were concerned about how it would be viewed by your children, once your affair becomes apparent, have it all wrong. People never take their children's feelings into account when they have affairs. If they did, they would just get a divorce and then start a new relationship. Regarding your H being put on display at the game, the free ticket is probably more than he has been getting out of his marriage ever since you started up with your "ex" so he surely will appreciate it. I suspect the only thing he will ever appreciate more will be when the inevitable divorce is finalized. Good luck to ALL in their soon to be new relationships!
tellonem, you know you don't belong here. As a betrayed spouse (who I've seen post as such elsewhere) you are not supposed to post here, anymore than we are supposed to post on the BS board.
Everyone, don't address this poster - put him/her on ignore. I will RAV it and if the powers that be see fit it will be removed.
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
I agree.....its amazing how many people will put their AP over their own safety. I do not just mean having a DDay...I mean something bad happening. If something happens the first thing they will look at is her husband because their will be no sign of a break in. He doesnt know she sneaks out so he doesnt have a history of that to tell the police. Women have to be VERY careful about stuff like this.
I've surely been there.. "old feelings" and all.. and for me, it did not end well.. once the fog cleared, I left my AP high and dry.. but didn't have a choice since I realized one day all that was just a phase I was going through during my separation and divorce.. (a long while ago).. she was devastated of course.. but I had no choice..
All I can say is that, take it one day at a time.. enjoy the fun and friendship.. but hold off on any and all plan making and such for a while.. let the weeks, months go.. and see where things are.. and never, ever let him pressure you into anything.. and as soon as you can, tell him that you enjoy that he's in your life, but that, this is all it is and will be for a while and that he to respect and accept that.. and that for now, you don't have a timetable, and you don't plan to think of one anytime soon.
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Yes you made a poor decision. Just make sure that you learn from this and never allow interaction again, if you can help it. No barbecues etc.! Unfortunately, having an A with your AP has made it so you can never have him be a "family friend". Would have been possible before the A, but not now.
As for the sneaking out at night to meet your AP - very risky behavior. It's hard to think through things when we're infatuated, and those of us in A's already are shown to be poor decision makers and easy risk takers, but you have to weigh the level of risk with the benefits. If you subconsciously want a d-day, this will get your subconscious what it wants! Slow down sweetie, try to think about what you're doing.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
Rayne,
Yes I do hope in this situation that common sense prevails!
Thanks to those that have offered their advice and support.
For starters, those who were concerned about how it would be viewed by your children, once your affair becomes apparent, have it all wrong. People never take their children's feelings into account when they have affairs. If they did, they would just get a divorce and then start a new relationship.
Regarding your H being put on display at the game, the free ticket is probably more than he has been getting out of his marriage ever since you started up with your "ex" so he surely will appreciate it.
I suspect the only thing he will ever appreciate more will be when the inevitable divorce is finalized.
Good luck to ALL in their soon to be new relationships!
tellonem, you know you don't belong here. As a betrayed spouse (who I've seen post as such elsewhere) you are not supposed to post here, anymore than we are supposed to post on the BS board.
Everyone, don't address this poster - put him/her on ignore. I will RAV it and if the powers that be see fit it will be removed.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
You don't plan on anymore get togethers, but what about the sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to meet AP?
I agree.....its amazing how many people will put their AP over their own safety. I do not just mean having a DDay...I mean something bad happening. If something happens the first thing they will look at is her husband because their will be no sign of a break in. He doesnt know she sneaks out so he doesnt have a history of that to tell the police. Women have to be VERY careful about stuff like this.
Also what if one of the kids
Hi Little,
I've surely been there.. "old feelings" and all.. and for me, it did not end well.. once the fog cleared, I left my AP high and dry.. but didn't have a choice since I realized one day all that was just a phase I was going through during my separation and divorce.. (a long while ago).. she was devastated of course.. but I had no choice..
All I can say is that, take it one day at a time.. enjoy the fun and friendship.. but hold off on any and all plan making and such for a while.. let the weeks, months go.. and see where things are.. and never, ever let him pressure you into anything.. and as soon as you can, tell him that you enjoy that he's in your life, but that, this is all it is and will be for a while and that he to respect and accept that.. and that for now, you don't have a timetable, and you don't plan to think of one anytime soon.
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