APs and future plans?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
APs and future plans?
7
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 5:02am

So I've been in an A a very short while, only about six weeks. The sex is off the charts, and AP (who is D, no kids) is an amazing, tender, wonderful guy.


Now, the last couple times I've seen him, he's been more and more into bringing up this fantasy of us someday having kids together (I'm M, no kids).


I'm wondering what I should make of that. Obviously he's really caught up in the fantasy of us - he makes reference to a future in which we're married, and then of course the kids thing. He's been going on about how precious a baby would look with a mix of both our physical attributes, our academic strengths and weaknesses, etc. He'll even trace a finger along my tummy and talk about how happy it would make him for me to have his child.


Is this normal for guys? Anyone else ever had a guy, AP or otherwise, so fixated on babies?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 2:30pm

Well, my MM and I are older, he had a vasectomy years ago, and I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 2:47pm

Hi Corioliss,


I'm trying to think of a proper response here....since I tend to live in A Fantasyland it all sounds very romantic and kind of wonderful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 4:34pm

So, from an anti climactic first time sex to:

>>>The sex is off the charts, and AP (who is D, no kids) is an amazing, tender, wonderful guy."<<<

Already??? And now after six weeks he's talking about having kids??? Does he know you're M to someone else and realized that having kids with you right now would seriously complicate things? How will you're H take that news in the case it happens? Hmmm, lots to consider. How old are you people? My suggestion, SLOW DOWN!!! New toys are always fun and exciting but you don't really know each other.

I know the fog is thick and the fantasy is out of this world, but if you feel there's a future with this guy, then since he's already D. Maybe time for you to consider what is the best thing to do for you and all involved.

Wishing you the best.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 7:12pm

When I started seeing my AP 5 months ago, babies were the last thing on our minds. But as time progressed we have talked about it. After my last child was born a preemie, I was told that I'm at risk for a uterine rupture

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 8:07pm

Six weeks and he's talking babies and marriage to a M woman? Alarm bells going off here I'm afraid.

I have been in my A one year. AP and I were both M when we started, now we're both separated. He has three children, I don't. We have never talked about babies, except for an early discussion about my fertility or lack of. But then we have only moved our A to a full PA in the past few months.

Pisces

pisces
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 9:25pm

No, a different AP. Not one AP, but two. Yes, I fully

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 12:00pm

AP and I are in the same situation as mom_goddess and her ap:
He had a vasectomy and I'm menopausal.

He is M with 4 kids, all under 14. I'm a granny.
When he was my BF/SO we talked about babies, he wanted them, I didn't. I already had a teenage DS ad didn't want to start over with a baby. But we agreed our child would have been greeneyed with auburn/dark curly hair. I did get pregnant just before we broke up (without knowing it until after), but I miscarried. Now, more than 15 years later and one year into our A, we have decided not to think or talk "what if's".

We have what we have and more is practically impossible. At least right now, as we are in an LDA, lives 594 miles apart and he works abroad 50% of the time. We do one day at the time, one meet at the time. Last time we met (41 hours) was two months ago. Next time will be sometime in February.... we hope.


Edwina