Long time lurker, first time poster. I've been M 20 years and with my one and only AP for 7 (she's also M). It's been a bumpy ride, but lately has been pretty stable. We both are in limbo as far as getting a D from our spouses and for now have decided to just enjoy each other when we can. Hopefully there will be a time we can be truly together, but the thought of all the pain is preventing that. What can I help you with?
Oh this is handy. I was going to ask the same thing.. Sorry to jump in on someone elses post.
I am a bit confused to how a male mind works here, and please bear with me if I go on a bit before I get to my point.lol
I went out with freinds about 5 weeks ago, and met up with some old school people. I say people because I didnt know him at school,just his name. We didnt do anything but talk about people from school that we both knew. And all told it was a good night. We all added eachother on Facebook the next day. About a week after that we were chatting on FB and he told me he thought I was lovley, and that he really fancied me alot. My freind invited him to her 40th get together, and he kept making sure with me that I was going, and that hes glad I was cos I am fit. I giggled at this, as I dont normally get even the slightest compliment.lol
So the night of my freinds get together arrives, and in he strolls.Eye contact is made right away, and all night as well. We get to the club,and we start talking about our marriages. Im certainly not happy, and neither is he.Now I ve seen enough stuff on tv and in real life to know that a man will lie to get what he wants, as women do as well. But there are no lies from my side let me assure you. So the night carries on,im having a balst with my freinds and on the way to the bathroom I bump into him and he bends forward to kiss me. I pull away, not that I want to but because its kind of public. He tells me I am driving him mad and he needs to kiss me. I didnt right there and then. But we did before we went our seperate ways. And it was nice. He even came to my freinds car for more. The next day he wants to meet up, but I had to be mum to my kids that day as H was out all day. He was a bit dissapointed but I cant jump right full on it. So while hes on his way home hes texting me.Saying he cant stop thinking about me.He wants to pay my cell phone
i have a question for the mind of a MM. if you could help me please, it would appreciate it. my MM can write his feelings in an email just fine. things such as miss you, care for you, virtual roses ect. saying such things on the phone or in person, he can't or wont. could you explain why. it's been a 2 year affair, neither of us are leaving our spouses. i love and care for him very deeply. why is it easier to express how you feel writing then saying. thank you.
sunnyday- yes, I think he wants you, but for what and for how long it is waaaay too early on to tell. I think you should just try to enjoy his upcoming visit and not try to think too far ahead. Let us know how the visit goes.
I'm not so sure I can speak for all guys (or psychologists), but I guess it has to do with it sounding less corny in his head as he writes it as opposed to saying it out loud. It also feels safer- guys aren't used to expressing feelings in front of others. I'm just guessing, we men are a weird bunch!
thank you for your reply. i think your are right about the safer statement. maybe he does feel if he writes it, as opposed to saying it somehow it's safer. right now i'm missing him a bit more then usual, i feel a bit sad. i'm thinking more. again thanks.
I had a text this morning from him...He wont be texting me for the forseeable future. He will talk to me when he can get online. Hes got too much his end to sort out. Very to the point. So I text back fair enough,but I dont think its fair you have messed with my head and emotions.........So talk whenever.
Blondd- I come this board because I can relate with so much that everyone is going through. I really don't think there is a lot of difference between what men and women feel in a relationship- we're both a mystery to each other, I just think you women can express it much better and healthier. I have always worked with woman and can relate to them better than men and because of that I have learned to express myself, but I still go through the same rollercoaster ride as everyone else. In fact right now I feel that I am giving everything to make our relationship work- I initiate the calls, dates, emails, etc. and I am really not feeling the love.
Oh this is handy. I was going to ask the same thing.. Sorry to jump in on someone elses post.
I am a bit confused to how a male mind works here, and please bear with me if I go on a bit before I get to my point.lol
I went out with freinds about 5 weeks ago, and met up with some old school people. I say people because I didnt know him at school,just his name. We didnt do anything but talk about people from school that we both knew. And all told it was a good night. We all added eachother on Facebook the next day. About a week after that we were chatting on FB and he told me he thought I was lovley, and that he really fancied me alot. My freind invited him to her 40th get together, and he kept making sure with me that I was going, and that hes glad I was cos I am fit. I giggled at this, as I dont normally get even the slightest compliment.lol
So the night of my freinds get together arrives, and in he strolls.Eye contact is made right away, and all night as well. We get to the club,and we start talking about our marriages. Im certainly not happy, and neither is he.Now I ve seen enough stuff on tv and in real life to know that a man will lie to get what he wants, as women do as well. But there are no lies from my side let me assure you. So the night carries on,im having a balst with my freinds and on the way to the bathroom I bump into him and he bends forward to kiss me. I pull away, not that I want to but because its kind of public. He tells me I am driving him mad and he needs to kiss me. I didnt right there and then. But we did before we went our seperate ways. And it was nice. He even came to my freinds car for more. The next day he wants to meet up, but I had to be mum to my kids that day as H was out all day. He was a bit dissapointed but I cant jump right full on it. So while hes on his way home hes texting me.Saying he cant stop thinking about me.He wants to pay my cell phone
I had a text this morning from him...He wont be texting me for the forseeable future. He will talk to me when he can get online. Hes got too much his end to sort out. Very to the point. So I text back fair enough,but I dont think its fair you have messed with my head and emotions.........So talk whenever.
That's funny...my cousin, who is a MW, has been in an A for 7 years with a MM as well.