Are we friends or More....?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Are we friends or More....?
2
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 11:35pm
I am extremely confused about my situation! I have been involved with this guy who has been with his girlfriend for 2 years. We told each other that we weren't gonna get emotionally involved (...yea right!) but I feel like I have fallen for him! He is all I think about!

When I tell him how I feel, he says we should just be friends because he doesn't wanna hurt me in any way and he wants to keep our friendship over anything (we started out as just friends). Also, this past weekend his girlfriend was informed by some girl about him being unfaithful. That was another reason for us being “just friends.”

We are supposed to hang out on Thursday and we both understood that Thursday we were hanging out as "just friends."

Well, tonight he calls me on the way home from a basketball game. We both have Nextel and he normally calls me using the phone part when he is alone but he called me tonight using the 2-way walkie talkie part (he was with 2 friends so they all heard our conversation) and during our conversation, he asks me if I would give him a massage on Thurs. to which I responded with a maybe (I was a bit confused because today we talked about being "just friends"). He then asks me if i would give him a full body massage to which i replied the same answer. Then he says well what if I was bad to which I again replied with a maybe (I am soo confused!)

I am completely confused about my own feelings and his as well! On top of that, the mixed signals he’s sending me are just making it more complicated! I don't know how to handle it or what to even think!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 7:58am
Hondagal,

I don't know everything involved in your situation, but from what you wrote, it sounds like this guy may be an egomaniac more than anything. He just showed off to his two friends what a "stud" he is by conversing with you over 2 way in that manner. How tasteless. I am no expert on men, but I have had enough male platonic friends to know that when they do this sort of thing, it is to be the envy of their guy friends at someone else's expense.

Be careful. If you think you are confused and agitated now, just wait, it could get a lot worse.

Pen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 9:53am
First of all, him letting his friends listen in on your conversation and asking such types of questions so his friends could hear (not like it was a purely generic conversation, he was obviously swaying you in the type of questions he was asking) sounds like he was feeding his ego in front of his friends, which I dont go for at all! Secondly, if you arent sure where the relationship stands, then communicate communicate, communicate! Did I say that enough ? lol Communicate with him, dont be afraid to just ask what the deal is, where this stands? Be open and upfront about how you feel. I dont think there is any other way to be.

Mama